From you, I get the story

There awaits a castle on a hilltop, but a chasm between me and it appears to be ever widening -- more and more and more ....

I ain't gonna live forever

I am not certain how many times I said words to this effect during the Winter, Spring and Summer of 2009:

I am writing here because I want to communicate some of my thoughts and opinions anonymously, to say what I think and feel and believe from behind a curtain. If something more should develop or evolve from it (meaning something romantic, in case you did not get it), so much the better.

Well, something romantic did occur. Depending upon how one defines the word love, I think I fell in love with a dozen women last year. Mostly for different reasons. They all had physical beauty, but were different in other ways -- meaning different talents, different skills, different interests.

But, that said, a few women had so many things in common I would swear they must have been twin sisters separated at birth. I am not certain if this is mere coincidence, or reveals something about types of personalities who are drawn to the sea of blogs. Whatever ....

If those words anger anyone, I sort of apologize, but I feel a need to be open about this.

This has been you. Now, me.

Who is me? Will the real me please stand up? Me Tarzan, you Jane.

I have discovered there are two distinct mes. Neither rules, neither dominates. Each is out in front at times, and they take turns being in charge.

Fortunately, for both of us, neither me is evil or even bad. We simply are different, and really not even friends. We think we might originally have been twins, but never separated and born into a single body.

This should have been obvious to anyone who actually reads what I write. I also have learned that not everyone who comes here actually does read me. Some use their imagination more than their ability to read. So, therefore, what do you -- yes, you -- do when you come here? Read, or day dream?

Think about it. I want to be in the woodlands or in a canoe on the river. I want to explore old, fabulous cities with historical relevance and treasures of art. Who is this guy? Daniel Boone or the Count of Monte Cristo?

Do you see where I am going with this? Well, I do not, other than to say I am not going to be chasing any illusive dreams or climbing any hilltops in search of castles -- at least, not for a while.

No house by a lake just now

In my last post, I mentioned a house by a lake near here that I was thinking about renting for September and October rather than traveling. Well, I looked at it on Friday and decided to pass on it. It literally was next door to the house I had rented and lived in for two years when I first moved back to Minnesota. That is too close to my past. Memories of the past are one thing, but waking up every morning to look out the window at reminders of the past is quite another.

So, my countdown has resumed. It will be interesting (for me, anyway) to discover what I actually will do and where I actually will go on Tuesday.

Music to match thoughts & moods

In the meantime, here are four very different songs to listen to and to think about -- if you are in the mood for music and for thinking. The first one has been playing in (or with?) my mind for a few days; the second one is for the inner and the outer beauty of women; the third one is the other part of me, which now seems to be rapidly retreating and apparently heading for hibernation; the fourth one is a piece of history, no less significant than the signing of the Magna Carta, as it was a centerpiece of an era in which the world began to turn upside down ....