Here we are ....
With all the time in the world ....
I have mentioned these things before, but they are on my mind again.
Until the past few years, I never have lived by myself.
In college, I had roommates. In the Marine Corps, I had fellow-Marines next to me in the barracks and in the field. I have been married twice and have three children. Even when not married, through the years I never have lived by myself for more than a few months until recent times.
In many respects, I like living by myself. When you live alone, no one is there to complain, to argue, to tell you what is wrong with you or to complicate your life in innumerable ways.
Conversely, the primary problems about being alone, I think, are two: One is the lack of opportunity for discussions with another close to you who you (sort of) trust. The second is the obvious fact that for most of us, I believe, it is more enjoyable to go to a film, to a concert, to an antique shop, to a restaurant, to a beach, to a (well, you get my drift) .... with another, with a companion, with someone you like and enjoy and feel happy to be with and simply want to be with .... than it is to go alone.
The discussion part usually is the difficult part. Discussions often turn to arguments and arguments sometimes turn to fights. But, neither do you wish to have a discussion with someone who thinks exactly the same as you do .... so, how do you find a intellectual wanderer to share a bed with who is capable of discussing without arguing? Hmmmm .... tell me?
I do know a few couples who maintain separate residences, but otherwise are companions for films, concerts, shopping, restaurants and vacations. That is one way to get along, I suppose. But, in my mind, these relationships are based on convenience and affection -- not on love. Which renews a question which drifts by in the ethereal world now and then: Is love real? Or, is it an ideal -- the summit of a mountain which men and women dare to climb, but, somehow, never truly reach?
I suppose the last line of this, for me, goes something like this: The discussion is the important element. The film, the antique shop, the view during the trip to the Grand Canyon or to the Eiffel Tower are the more trivial elements of life and are less relevant -- maybe, even without real purpose -- unless they can be shared emotionally and through conversation with a companion.
Care to discuss it .... while we still have all the time in the world?