I am a star, I am blue & I wish I knew

Russell, Dopey & Fram not only talk the talk, they walk the walk .

In next week's coming attractions ....

I keep forgetting to mention that my life experience includes a couple of roles in movies which, in all probability, you might have seen. The first was in "Dances with Wolves." I could not handle the day Kevin Costner was running around naked, so I went into town and had a few beers. I thought I performed my role of illustrating fierce loyalty and devotion with elegance. I am certain you saw this in me, too. And, my death scene. I was brilliant, was I not?

I greatly preferred my role in "The Gladiator." Did you notice the photograph of me, alongside of Russell Crowe and his horse, Dopey? I was disappointed with the photo (you can hardly see me, low in the center right, watching out for that idiot horse's big feet), and I did not get a credit in the movie. But, I did lead the charge through the woodland when Maximus ran his cavalry into the ranks of the Germans. You had to have seen me there. I am out in front of everyone, even in front of Russ and Dopey. Was I not brave and fierce? And, I pose a mystery within the movie. While saving Maximus, did I die, or did I not? Movies are peanut butter for the imagination, are they not?

Some serious, some not; figure it out ....

On my (actual) father's side, I have two cousins who are clergy, one an attorney, one a doctor (a shrink, no less) and one who is married to a foreign diplomat and has lived in exotic places. It should be evident that I am the only one among the group who does not think I know everything.

On my mother's side, everyone actually works for a living.

My mother still lives, but in a distant city. I telephone her two or three times a week. She spends some time telling what she knows, and a great deal of time explaining to me what she does not know. She would fit right in with CNN, Fox News and cable television in general.

Is there anywhere to surf in the Mediterranean?

Is it possible to eat French grapes, as well as to drink them?

One way to guarantee I actually accomplish these things I have been writing about is to start betting me real money that I will not do them. I never, ever lose that sort of bet, and I always collect.

I am a "being-in-itself," I think, in accordance with Jean Paul Sartre's definitions. (How is that, Katy?) That is, I do not separate myself from nature.

I am wanting for my mind to take a sabbatical so the rest of my body can enjoy itself for a while.

Sometimes I wonder if I am entering the proverbial "mid-life crisis," however, I shuffle that thought to the side because I am relatively certain that I have been experiencing one approximately every three years since I was 15. Right now, my crisis is to find an explorer whose helmet reads, "no fear," and who is capable of being as excited about life now as she was when she was around 20 for about 20 hours out of the day. Do you notice that I sometimes repeat myself? I especially would appreciate the company of one who could teach me how to play the guitar, with a minimal charge for lessons.

Women always have been more important than men, in most ways conceivable (yeh, yeh, I know what I just wrote), but few younger ones seem to realize it. Young women, as Kelly, TheChicGeek, mentioned a few days ago at her blog, have no idea of the power they have over young men. The time approaches, I think, when it will be essential for young women to display their power intelligently rather than randomly. Take control, until partnership truly develops. As a civilization, more races than one are in progress. In the meantime, I will hunt, if you wish. You teach, until there is no more need for hunters, and we will be the better for it.

I can cuss with the best of them, and there have been times when I have gone nose-to-nose with another to see who would run out of expletive-deleted words first. I also go along with profanity when it is used in a colloquial sense in speech or writing. But, profanity in ordinary, typical, day-to-day conversation annoys me to no end. (OK, honestly, it angers me.) There is a time and a place for everything, including cussing, but casual conversation is not one of them.

Fine, now another revelation that I did not particularly want right now, but since I was asked: I have been officially divorced since July 9, 2007, and was separated before then. The anniversary of my marriage was July 10. How is that for down-to-the-wire timing?

To do it or not to do it ....

One of the reasons I want to learn more about depression is because I have known four people who have committed suicide, all adult men: One over a woman, one about money, one for why I cannot guess because I hardly knew him, and one a very good friend who was a great success at everything he did except find happiness. He was a natural leader, handsome as John Wilkes Booth (well, I would hope everyone can visualize him), university educated, intelligent, a talented newsman, a guy who would literally give the shirt off his back, but, a heavy-duty drinker with a few other problems.

I might have seen that one coming if I had been in his neighborhood, but he had moved to Florida and our contact was down to a few emails and a few telephone calls a year. I do not understand why any of them did it and, since I cannot ask them, I would like to learn from those who have considered it or even come close to it.

By the way, he was the "dummy" in the Lake Superior canoe dump that I have written about, so at least I was around to save his sorry butt once. On the river canoe dump, he was in the second canoe that rescued my fishing gear. No guilt here, but questions that never can be answered, that I wish could be.

Music Note: Listening to Boston ....
Specifically, the first album: "Boston" ....

Some lines from: "Something About You:"

When I was younger I thought I could stand on my own
It wasn't easy, I stood like a man made of stone

But there was something about you
I want you to know
It brought a change over me
It's startin' to show
I've got this feelin inside
Gotta have ya, have ya, ain't no good to hide