Fram, as exposed through photos & words

So you think Fram is harmless, do you?

Today, friends, students, fellow citizens and wandering vagabonds, we begin a formal study of Fram, president of the Last of the Real Men's Boys' Club. The specific subject of this investigation will center on Fram the Lover, with special emphasis on his chameleon-like talents. From whom has Fram modeled in style, substance (or lack thereof) and pickup lines? We have gone to great time and trouble (ho-hum) to accumulate some vivid examples of Fram, the man he thinks himself to be.

Here begins the lesson: Moving clockwise from the top left, I am very certain we all have heard stories that Fram frequently emulates Humphrey Bogart, a cool, mature type; a model of composure and self-control. Unfortunately, both for Humphrey and for Fram, this type has a very roving eye, and cannot help but to stare unabashedly at whatever falls into view, usually leaving his date valiantly trying to ignore his lack of decorum.

There also have been rumors Fram has been seen modeling himself as the new James Dean, the quiet, brooding type of younger man, carefree but troubled, who likes fast cars, who prefers blondes watching his back, literally, while he contemplates the fate of the free world and deliberates about who to ask to the junior-senior prom. Looks like Marilyn fell asleep during her watch; so much for her.

There is at least one report that Fram sometimes tries to seduce young ladies by putting on airs as a suave, sophisticated, serious English gentleman, the likes of which have not been seen since the era of Cary Grant. In this role, Fram likes to get the young lady alone, where he then is able to sweep her off her feet by reciting poetry from Shakespeare and using his rich, deep voice and charming English accent to the fullest advantage.

Fram also is said to like them young, naïve and with curly hair. This type, he tries to convince that he is not only a vampire, but a direct descendant of Count Dracula the First, the greatest vampire of them all, who was lost to history when he traveled with Vikings to North Dakota searching for the Northwest Passage. How much these young ladies believe and how much they put up with his antics simply because he resembles Brad Pitt is uncertain. (Yeh, sure.)

Fram likes legs, both the ZZ Top song and the real thing. In this respect, he will play any role in order to get close enough to catch a glimpse of a young lady's legs. In this particular setting, like Dustin Hoffman, Fram sometimes attempts to play a dumb college kid. Notice how well Dustin performs this role. (Fram can do it better.) Dustin is absolutely hypnotized by that leg. Let us pause here for a few moments while we study the curves of this lovely leg ...................... hah? All right, that's enough.

Proceeding on to the final example in this session, it has been said Fram will swim any river, fight man or beast, swing from tree to tree, and even swing on a dance floor, just to convince a young lady he is the real thing. Like Johnny Weissmuller, Fram particularly likes to take them swimming so they are wearing a minimum of clothing.

What we have seen here is but a small sample of the roles Fram has been known to play and some of the assorted real men he admires and attempts to emulate in his constant search for attention and kisses from young ladies. This is not to say Fram is insincere or in any manner less than a complete sort of gentleman. It is to say Fram would much rather go canoeing with a girl than to a sports bar with a bunch of guys, and he is not afraid to say so.

Music Note: Listening to Queensryche
Specifically, "Rage for Order"
Some lines from: "Walk in the Shadows:"

You need attention, what's good is only mine
I can cure the hunger that burns in your heart
Just come to me
I'll take you home
We'll walk in the shadows
By day we'll live in a dream
We'll walk in the shadows

Our secret's safe for one more night
But when the morning comes remember
I'll be with you

We'll walk in the shadows
By day we'll live in a dream
We'll walk in the shadows
One day you'll be with me