Perception is in the eye of the beholder

Do any of these slogans fit your perception of a Marine?

Is perception actual, or based on cliché?

A conversation a few days ago sent my thoughts back to the concept of perception, centering more upon persona this time. I am going to take another run at it from that direction.

Ever see a motion picture or television show where the cliché good cop / bad cop comes into play? Unless you never go to movies or sit in front of a TV, undoubtedly you have. It not only is a ploy used to get a suspect to talk, but sometimes it is the real thing simply because of the individual police officer's perception of how officers should act in public, should treat civilians on the street and should act around their colleagues.

Most of us have observed "on duty" police officers at work, possibly in a situation after personally being stopped for a traffic violation. Some officers are friendly and smiling, some are all business and straight faced, some act cocky and jaunty, some come on like Mr. Tough Guy and scowl. Officers are trained how to behave in public, but some develop their own habits and standards based on their own personalities, education and levels of experience -- their own perception of themselves.

This is true in all lines of work, I think, but it just seems more obvious (to me, at least) when encountering people in uniform.

Think Marine Corps. Another sample of T-shirt slogans offers illustrations of attitudes adopted by individual Marines. "Improvise Adapt Overcome" is a useful motto for members of the military and civilians alike, in any occupational area. "Defending Our Nation" is appropriate for all branches of service. "I Fight What You Fear" is pure Marine bravado, a shirt for only a zealot to wear. "Any Where Any Time -- Marines" and "Death Smiles at Everyone –- Marines Smile Back" could be taken as bravado, as well, and might be, but more likely reflect an attitude of pride in willingness to be the first into any battle. Those two sort of demonstrate another cliché, which is fighting for the buddy next to you more than for any nationalistic ideal. The final one, "Marines –- Death Before Dishonor" falls into a warrior ethos that has existed here and there since time began. It was a code followed by the Spartans at Thermopylae and most men, if not all, who fought and died at the Alamo.

The long and the short of this is that I do not think you would encounter many Marines who would wear all six of those T-shirts. Perceptions of what a Marine is (or should be) vary widely, even among the members of this rigorously trained and indoctrinated organization. Concepts, overlap, most certainly, but not all of the "Devil Dogs" think of themselves like that or act like that or want others to view them like that.

Which leads me back to the starting point: how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. The conversation which started me thinking about perceptions once again included discussion about shyness. I was told that I seemed to have considerable self-confidence and was very assertive in my behavior. My first thought was, no, I am more the quiet, withdrawn type.

Realization came an instant later that how I perceive myself in a given situation was the key. It all depended on what "role I was playing," which of my characters happened to be on stage at that moment in time.

As an "on duty" reporter, for instance, I can approach anyone (and often have) and ask any question, carrying with me a persona like I am the most important guy in the world and I am giving them a break simply by talking with them. If I were an "off duty” reporter, so to speak, and in a social situation and simply wanted to meet some of these same people, I doubt I would have the nerve to do it. I suppose the easy solution here (for me, at least) is to always think of myself as an "on duty" reporter.

This is my perception (beyond the chameleon characteristic) of what a "good reporter" should be –- assertive to the point of aggressiveness; confident to the point of arrogance; fearless to the point of recklessness. Sort of like a Marine, but with a pen and a notepad instead of a rifle. How others perceive me, I really never have thought about (or really cared about) in the past. I think I might now.

Music Note: Listening to Journey ....
Specifically, "Escape" ....
Some lines from "Stone in Love:"

Those summer nights are callin,
Stone in love
Can't help myself I'm fallin
Stone in love

Old dusty roads, led to the river
Runnin slow
She pulled me down, and in clover
We'd go round
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burnin love comes once in a lifetime

Oooo the memories never fade away
Golden girl, I'll keep you forever

Ladies, magic girls & learning to live

Lady when I'm with you I'm smiling
Give me all your love
Your hands build me up when I'm sinking
Touch me and my troubles all fade

Lady from the moment
I saw you standing all alone
You gave all the love that I needed
So shy like a child who had grown

You're my Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear and lovely
You're my lady

Some lines from the song: "Lady"
written (and sung) by Dennis DeYoung,
of "Styx," about his wife, Suzanne

Live long and prosper, magic girls ....
I know that only yesterday I said, fair is fair, two photographs for London, two for Paris, two for Rome, but in every contest there must be a winner whether we wish it to be so or not. Therefore, tonight, we have a winner: No one other than a "magic girl" can represent the winner. Rather than say which city is the winner, please look up this young lady's current residency, if you do not already know. Learn, if you would, please, and appreciate.

My photo is dismal, as usual, in a technical sense, but it is mine, and to stand so close to this "magic girl/lady" requires nothing more than appreciation of the essence of female beauty and artistic talent. We might not have been alone together, but we were close together. Technology is not required, and I will leave that argument to the technocrats among us. No, I am not grouchy, simply questioning priorities, and am sort of sarcastic because it is required of me as a devotee of Ambrose "Bitter" Bierce.

May we all have mentors along the way ....
A few days ago, Etta, in her Depression Marathon blog, wrote about her mentoring experience with a teenage boy. I started following her blog not because I have problems with depression beyond the ordinary, but because I wanted to learn and to better understand how people live with depression and cope with it. I have known four people who were unable to cope. In this particular post about her teenage friend, Etta's words started me to thinking and remembering the differences between being young and being older, between naivety and experience, in my own life.

I was a Marine while I still was 18, and there were some younger than me. My immediate buddies were around the same age as I was, but I sought out men who were 15 or 20 years older than me to associate with as much as possible. Why? Because I knew that they not only had valuable knowledge about the Marine Corps, but also had significant experience about life that I did not. I wanted to learn.

When I went to college, the majority of my friends were in their late 20s and early 30s. Why? Because they were the people in my immediate world who had experience at things I did not. Many were, or had been, married. Some were parents. Many had worked construction or similar jobs before deciding a bachelor's degree could provide them with a better life. I wanted to learn.

When I entered newspaper work, it was the same. Most of the people I hung with were older than I was at that time. They could provide me with knowledge, both about the job and about life. I could learn from hearing about their triumphs and their failures and, through friendship with them, I could save myself from a few missteps and stumbles I otherwise most certainly would have made. I wanted to learn.

While I agree with the notion there is no substitute for experience, I also think there is no better way to get a head start on it than by having a few friends who already have been around the block, and by learning from them as well as from our own travails.

We all are learning every day, and we all have a great many choices about what we spend our time learning and, more importantly, many options whether or not we use what we learn to the benefit of ourselves and, maybe, to the benefit of a few others. Thus spake Fram, and here endith the sermon.

Sorry, I have already been down that road ....
So many times I have read or heard people say that if they could live their lives over, they would not change a thing. I would do exactly the opposite. Everywhere I turned left the first time, I would turn right the second time. Every time I said no before, I would say yes now. This does not imply regret; it suggests curiosity. There is not enough time to do everything, much less to do it twice. Except, maybe, some things, with a few very special people and for a few extraordinary events.

Music Note: Listening to and sort of watching "Styx" ....
Specifically, "Return to Paradise" ....
("Lady" & "Come Sail Away" .... what else?)