Searching for the way home

Those are footprints on the street, thousands of them, made during a light snowfall on the night of February 15, 2010, on Castle Square of Old Town in Warsaw, Poland. I took the photograph from the third floor of what I designated as The Apartment -- a temporary home, as one might describe it, for a few months during a brief interlude in my life. In a sense, the countless footprints in the photograph are symbolic of the many wandering, often aimless, steps I have taken searching for the right place to be. You might recognize the photograph since I have used it before to accompany a post. The music with this post is from a group called Soft Cell. I stumbled across it on YouTube a few days ago. I cannot remember the last time I heard this production .... it has been a while, that is for sure. I like the sound, the beat, the rhythm, maybe the message, and I hope you will, too.

You cannot go to a place which does not exist

In 1940, the American writer Thomas Wolfe wrote the words, "You Can't Go Home Again." He did not stop with that sentence until it had formed a complete novel. I suppose ever since then there has been debate whether a person can or cannot. Some say Wolfe disproved the title of his own story, but we will not enter into that argument. I have not read this book. I have tried a couple of times, but never made it through. I think it is because the title frightens me.

A few others among Wolfe's works of fiction, notably, "Look Homeward, Angel," I have read. Magnificent titles, do you not agree ?? I passed through his hometown almost my accident once upon a time, Asheville, North Carolina, and saw the house he grew up in and which is a primary location in "Look Homeward ...."

That was the point of entry ....

Next, I happened across a photograph on one of my computers, the photograph above, which I have used in a previous post sometime way back when. It was taken from the window of the third floor apartment overlooking Castle Square of Old Town in Warsaw, Poland, while I lived there in 2010.

To be more precise, the photograph was taken at 03:12 A.M. local time on February 15, 2010. It was a nice night, and I was very happy for a few months living in that apartment and exploring that city with a sweet, beautiful young lady as my companion, and experiencing a life very different in many ways from the life I was accustomed to in mid-America, USA.

That was the point of exit ....

I have a hometown, but I have not lived there since three months after turning eighteen and three days after completing high school. After that, I did not even visit the town for years and years and years, although I had loved it as a boy. You see where I am going? I really have no home, only a place of residence. So, I need to go back to a few places, not to set up camp, but simply to try to enjoy again the feelings I felt there once upon a time.

The point where entry and exit collide .... 

This autumn there finally will be a journey of sorts again, and I hope to begin it in Warsaw in the place -- The Duval -- where I stayed for the first fifteen days upon arrival and before renting The Apartment. I had the Japanese Room at The Duval back then, and liked it. This will be for a week or two, with, maybe, a run to Krakow. And, maybe, another run north to the "Wolf's Lair." (I am a history addict, you may recall, and the name suits my persona, in a way.)

Then, I want to go to Germany (which will be new for me), then return to Giverny in France and, probably, to Paris .... then "home" to America, in a manner of speaking, I guess .... in any case, back to the place I am hanging out for now .... or .... or .... or ??

I have had a few low-key, long-weekend excursions (all involving work) here and there during the past few years which observant readers of my posts might have recognized from photographs and/or words, but nothing meaningful or a significant. Remember? Living ten minutes from an international airport comes in handy. 

Essentially, as you might suppose, right now I want a bit of the new, but mostly to see if once-traveled streets and gardens bring back a feeling of -- for lack of a better word .... a feeling of contentment -- as I "look homeward" and elsewhere in search for a sense of belonging. Silly, hah ??

Silly or whatever, life is ours to waste away as we wish, and I wish to use some of mine in search for my own concept of a "holy grail" -- whether it be person, place or thing .... or non-existent futility. So, I am thinking of staying in Europe from sometime in October until the New Year arrives in this ongoing episode of "The Search."

Anyway .... not as a pass, a proposal or a plan, but if anyone cares to meet for dinner and drinks in Warsaw or in Germany (Berlin, maybe, but I am open there and have other places in Germany I wish to see); or at Missolonghi, the last stop in this life for George Gordon / Lord Byron (You did read my last post, did you not ??); or in the Giverny of Claude Monet (Is October too late in the autumn to enjoy the outdoors there ??); or in Paris or in Neverland or .... hmmmm ....

Anyway, again .... it might be best to speak up soon if you are interested and to begin making plans to skip out of work for a few days or to arrange for a dog/cat/?? sitter or .... or .... or ??

Remember, you only live once (according to pedestrian philosophy), and life goes on with or without you ....

I am teasing, sort of, but time is not our friend.