The search for "she" .... or, the long wait
(Editor's Note: This is the final of three related posts I plan to run this week. If there is to be a fourth, it will come later.)
Does anyone have such a companion ??
Someone to die for ....
Someone who they reveal their deepest fears to, someone who they tell their deepest dreams to, someone who they can explain each and every secret they possess to, someone who they can trust with their life? Perhaps, it is only me who has never discovered someone to be their companion who thinks enough of themselves to put elements like jealousy or envy or personal ambitions aside.
Large houses, fast cars, beautiful companions, endless beaches with white sand and blue water might be the dreams and desires of some men (even of most, and have crossed my mind in a sideways manner) -- but, a pretty face; a sweet smile; an intelligent, intellectual, curious mind; and a real lady (liberal feminist, fine; radical feminist, no way) and an "afraid of nothing" attitude is my dream girl. Do you know her ?? Then, introduce me to "she."
For the uninitiated, "SHE," is a novel written in 1886-87 by Henry Rider Haggard. The setting is the uncharted African interior. Horace Holly and Leo Vincey are searching for the ancient, lost city of Kor. "She" is Ayesha, an Arabic sorceress, who has waited more than two thousand years in Kor for the return of Kallikrates, a Greek she loved and murdered in a fit of jealous rage. Ayesha believes Leo to be the reincarnated Kallikrates. He is, in fact, a descendant. Ayesha wishes Leo/Kallikrates to join her in immortality, but she does not survive the method to accomplish this "process." As Ayesha dies, she tells Leo/Kallikrakes: "Forget me not. I shall come again!" Sorry .... if you want to know more, you will have to read the book.
It could be I am an insatiable romantic and this is my own interpretation (or imitation) of Perceval or of Galahad and my search for sort of a "holy grail."
Or not ....
It could be the reason I search for "she" is because I know she is impossible, I know she does not exist, I know that if she ever has been real, we have not been together on the same plane or in an identical time of existence. Seeking someone who never was and never will be ensures my freedom forever.
No, it is the first. I really am fool enough to hope to find her .... even possibly .... actually .... believe we will come together in the here and now.
Anyway, companionship really comes with trust and talk .... and leaves without them ....
Now, why did I write that last sentence ??
Is there an allegory here ??
With the story "SHE" ??
No, no chance of that ....
"Who waits forever anyway?"
Even for one who .... "Will come again."