Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Suburbans, Eleanor, profanity & Warren

The discussion that followed yesterday's post included many words about the differences between owning a Chevrolet Suburban and a Lincoln Navigator. Well, if anyone really is interested in the actual physical differences, it would take only a few minutes to do a bit of research on the internet. For my part, although I posted a photograph of it not long after I bought it, here, one more time, is my very own Suburban -- bought and paid for to the last cent. It is good enough for me, and not nearly as pretentious as I, personally, find the Navigator. I will leave them for the rock stars and the wanna-bes.

A profane phenomenon

Anyone familiar with American military folklore is aware that the typical sailor in the U.S. Navy is considered to be a master at the application of profanity, i.e., a virtual fountain of four-letter words when uttering an ordinary sentence.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time in or around a military facility which has both Navy and Marine Corps personnel stationed there understands that the typical sailor is a mere amateur in the use of such language when compared to the typical Marine trooper.

As you might recall, yours truly is a former member of the aforementioned elitist, arrogant, profane group known as the Marine Corps. And, as a former First Lady, the evidently vivacious Eleanor Roosevelt, once proclaimed:

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt, Quantico,Virginia, 1945

Now, then, who among you wishes to argue with a former First Lady? No one? All right. Back to the subject on hand.

Ordinarily, I use profanity very sparingly. I unloose it only when I wish to verbally beat someone into the ground, which seldom happens, or when I listen to Barack Obama lie on television, which sometimes happens daily. But, in recent months, I have found myself using it in virtually every sentence I speak or think to myself. A few times, I have caught the attention of others with my mumbled oaths.

I mentioned this fact to a friend a few days ago. The response was this: "You have been living alone too long. You need to have a woman around you."

To which, I replied: Amen.


11 comments:

TheChicGeek said...

Fram, I am laughing so hard right now. Thank you for making me smile :) I love your song and I love you too :))
You are too funny!!!!

Okay, now I will go. I am blogging too much today!
Awww, I am smiling so much right now...you really got me :)
Love from the West....
Night*

Fram Actual said...

Glad to give you a laugh, Kelly.

It is a true story, every element in it.

Maddalena said...

This is a very elegant car, and fits White Bear and you, Frammy, perfectly. And I think it is a quite similar car to my Hummer, also large and comfortable, and safe. This second one you mentioned I have to look at, later.

Fram Actual said...

Yes, Mag. White Bear and I think the Suburban is perfect for guys with our style. Writing about it yesterday and today, I did not mean to imply it is not nice.

It has real leather seats; a compass and outside thermometer in the rear view mirror; CD and tape players, and radio; carpeted floor; automatic windows; comfortable seating for seven people; front and back air conditioning and heat controls; and many similar features.

But, it also is meant for utilitarian purposes, with a powerful engine, high suspension for moving through mud and deep snow; a capacity for pulling and carrying a heavy load; and room to live out of for camping trips into areas only a four-wheel vehicle can travel.

A Suburban is not something like a Lincoln Navigator, which has very significant cosmetic beauty both inside and outside, but is a vehicle basically good only for highway travel on modern roads. A Navigator is a country club / pretentious guy's vehicle, while the Suburban is outdoorsman’s vehicle.

By the way, you do not think I use excessive profanity, do you?

Maddalena said...

No, I hardly noticed any, unless I did not understand everything you were saying.

I saw this famous Navigator and I find it beautiful, but would not be too crazy about it. I prefer Hummer much more.

Fram Actual said...

Well, I drive to town and manage to accomplish a few things before the heavens unleash a torrential downpour. When I return, I discover Mag has been back to visit me for a second time, but none other.

Thank you, Mag, for responding again, and, yes, the Navigator is truly beautiful. The more I think about it, I believe the Navigator should be a vehicle for women only, one to transport them along modern highways and byways on their shopping trips and other errands.

Then, again, since even young ladies such as Mag seem to prefer the Hummer over the Navigator, perhaps, in the tradition of Saturday Night Live and our talented Austrian friend, the Navigator should be set aside for the transport of "girlie men" only. Sorry .... I am starting to have too much fun with this now.

Anyway, thanks for your return appearance, Mag, and for your endorsement of my fine language.

TheChicGeek said...

Fram, I meant to tell you that while you were out shopping today, that crazy Fram the First was cussing up a storm and drinking too much Benedictine!!! Anyway, White Bear was quite miffed with him and convinced Fram the First to lift him up to the keyboard. That little scamp e-mailed me. He explained to me that he's just such a good-looking bear that ever since he's left Poland all the papparazzi won't leave him alone....this is why he is so visible on the internet. Everyone loves him and wants to put him in the movies. He's trying to keep a low profile but it's hard for such a handsome bear. He's begged me to convince you that you should buy him a little red toy Navigator to match Mag's red Hummer. He will look nice with Poland's colors as he cruises the highway. He's very proud of his heritage. You see, he wants Jack to come back to America and bring his mommy, and he thinks that the Navigator would be so much fun to show Jack around in....they could go camping, and to the lakes, maybe White Bear can show off his newfound canoeing skills. Such a famous bear should have a lovely, safe and comfortable car.

He decided I'm not so bad after all and he forgives me :) Don't you think this is a fabulous idea? White Bear wants to get out of the house a bit and have some fun with his handsome Papa :))
Love From the West to You, Fram...

TheChicGeek said...

Oh, Fram the First says he's been around too many CRAZY WOMEN...That's why he's cussing...LOL :)

Fram Actual said...

Who exactly had too much Benedictine?

I think you must be abandoning your blog (at least, for now) to write a novel, Kelly. Very imaginative narrative you have there, young lady.

I shall take your recommendations under advisement, of course, as well as confining Fram the First to his closet for the time being and putting a limit on White Bear's access to cable television. Those guys cannot be left alone together.

TheChicGeek said...

LOL, Yes, Fram...One might think I had been hitting the sauce :))
Love You :)
Kisses for the Animals and Fram the Naughty First :)

Fram Actual said...

Thank you, Kelly. We truly appreciate them. Take care.

Something special ....