Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Law, order & I can't get no satisfaction ....

There are lawyers and there are lawyers. Some of my personal favorites have been the assistant district attorneys on the television series, "Law & Order." Clockwise from the upper left are, Alexandra Borgia, Connie Rubirosa, Jamie Ross, Claire Kincaid, Serena Southerlyn and Abbie Carmichael.

Legal beagles come in all shapes & sizes ....

We have here a possible culmination of days and weeks and months of serious thought. The only television program I watch with regularity is "Law & Order." The original series, I mean. Until I started watching "Law & Order," when I thought of lawyers, I thought of gray-haired, old men. (If they were full of themselves, they also wore their hair long and probably in a ponytail.) I did not picture attractive, young ladies as attorneys.

As I review the many episodes of "Law & Order," it becomes obvious that even deciding which young lady -- I mean, which attorney -- to interview as a candidate for a position on my "personal legal team" would be a very difficult task, for sure.

But, with the current atmosphere of sue here, sue there, sue anywhere, I have been thinking that it might be beneficial to have a beautiful, brainy, sophisticated, female attorney on retainer. Please understand, I am thinking in a purely practical sort of way. I'm trying to be intelligent about this which, as anyone who knows me will testify is extremely difficult for me. (Did that come out right?)

I know at least one person who occasionally stops by my blog has been inside a court room. Maybe others have, too. I know for sure that I have been. While the person who stops by here has worked in a court room, my presence was not by choice. I was among a group of people sued, collectively and individually, for $44 million. Yeh, really. Can you believe it? My reaction upon being served the papers was laughter, but the case actually went to trial.

Never fear. (Or should that be, no fear?) The day of my appearance on the stand, I donned my best suit, carried reading glasses and a copy of "War and Peace" in my left hand, and brushed my teeth twice. I practiced my smile in the mirror for 30 minutes, with an occasional wink or two. Consequently, thanks to my dignified, intellectual, good natured appearance, and to my eloquent, confident, forceful testimony, we won the war. Or, perhaps I should say the plaintiff 's lawyer struck out entirely, completely, with finality, when he interrogated me. (How many ways can I say that?) What I mean is this: Imagine how the case might have turned out had a stunning, gorgeous, vivacious young lady been the attorney for the plaintiff rather than a bald, grumpy-looking, chubby, old man who was vain enough to think he actually could rough me up on the stand? Please, be honest.

Another true tale, but now back to our discussion for today. If I were to choose from among the many assistant district attorneys who have appeared on "Law & Order" in recent times, which would be the wisest to pair up with, at least for an initial interview? They all are radiant, smart and not afraid to stand their ground. I suppose it just might come down to whichever one lists canoeing as her favorite recreational activity.

Rock & roll blues: Part I

I once ended up at a particular location on the map because a friend of mine from the Marine Corps lived there. He had grown up in this town, and we thought it might be good for us to hang out together for a while. He had been shot through his legs, and spent a few months in a body cast. He gets around all right now, unless he tries to run or to walk any real distance.

He still is living there, in the town where he grew up. I did not stay very long. A career beckoned to me, and also more than a little restlessness. You understand? We continue to exchange notes and photographs via email.

Neither one of us is satisfied with the way things are. How do you explain that? I am moving around and experiencing and learning. He is hunting and fishing and getting drunk on Saturday nights at the Veterans of Foreign Wars club. I really do not know which of us is better off. I really, really do not, in terms of personal contentment, satisfaction, achievement -- all those sort of things we grade on our personal score cards.

Other than that, Semper Fi, and keep your kids at home. No, I did not say those last few words. I did not mean that. To each, his own, but make certain each of your kids understands the possible consequences from earning the privilege to say the words, Semper Fi, and is prepared to pay the piper if he comes calling. The burden, for some, is heavy.

Music Note: Listening to Chicago ....
Specifically, "The Very Best of: Only the Beginning" ....
("Searchin' So Long," et al)


Piper .. said...

"Imagine how the case might have turned out had a stunning, gorgeous, vivacious young lady been the attorney for the plaintiff rather than a bald, grumpy-looking, chubby, old man who was vain enough to think he could rough me up? Please, be honest."

:):) You, my friend, would pbly have had $44 million less in your pocket! :):)
On an unrelated note, did you know there were three other mottos prior to Semper Fidelis in the Marine Corps?

Fram said...

Hi, Piper. Easy come, easy go.

I think this also demonstrates why jury selection has become a science as well as an art, and why witnesses are coached by professionals. See how much faith I have in the system?

Three other mottos? Are you going to tell me or make me do some research?

Piper .. said...

:) you seriously didnt know?? well, I did read it somewhere,though I confess I have had to look up the actual names,just for you :) Ok here goes:
1.Fortitudine(meaning "with courage")
2.Per Mare, Per Terram(by sea, by land)
3.To the Shores of Tripoli
All of these were abandoned and then Semper Fidelis was adopted sometime in the 1800s

And I was summoned for jury duty and was pretty much excited about it, until they wrote back to say that I cant attend since I`m not a citizen :( So I`m waiting to become one, just so I can see the inside of a courtroom :) Of course there are other ways, not all of them necessarily appealing to the mind though!

Fram said...

I probably napped through the "history of the corps" class. Seriously. Or maybe it was not part of any class. Or it could be the information went in one ear and out the other. Anyway, I do not recall hearing of them. Thanks for filling me in, Piper.

I was called for jury duty once, but excused because I worked for a newspaper. I also have covered two murder trials as a reporter. I once did a few canoe trips with a friend who was a judge (still is), and he loved to tell stories of court room antics. Also, I once interviewed a novelist and retired state supreme court judge, but he was more interested in drinking bourbon and talking about fishing than he was in telling court room tales. Now you have gotten me started mentally wandering, and I cannot stop. Help!

TheChicGeek said...

Hi Fram - I agree with Piper on the $44 million less in your pocket...most!
We have a case going on in my courtroom right now that's absolutely the Jerry Springer show only with an international billionaire and one of his ladies. It's quite entertaining. Newspaper guys like you keep calling me all day trying to get the inside scoop :)
I think the only real winners in the courtroom seem to be the lawyers. If you've lost a loved one or something physically, no amount of money can bring them back or restore your health, and the people looking for money never seem to feel they won enough.

I have the utmost respect for all of you in the military service. Our soldiers are making great sacrifices for all of us and they are not appreciated enough for what they do. I volunteer with Operation Gratitude here in
Los Angeles to help out our soldiers. It's very rewarding. Have you seen all those funny videos on YouTube of the dancing Marines? My daughter and I were watching some last night. They're so funny. Maybe I'll post one on my page one day.
Have a nice night and stay away from those sexy lawyers, lest you lose your head :)

Fram said...

Thanks, for coming around, Kelly. I appreciate it.

Dancing Marines? YouTube? I don't think I'd have the nerve to watch! More seriously, I consider the Marines to be a single chapter in my life, too, but there are times when I begin to dwell on it. Bad habit. My enlistment anniversary date was about a month ago, and that gets me into it for a while every year.

Your work has to be interesting, and I assume you frequently are a witness to the rich and famous making fools of themselves, as well as to actual tragedy. As for lawyers, I think maybe Shakespeare was right.

By the way, you are indirectly responsible for my Thursday comments. That will be the third time you've been the "inspiration!"

TheChicGeek said...

Ooooh, I'm glad to be so inspirational :)

Fram said...

A person has to be noted for something, Kelly.

I was listening to the band Chicago a couple of days ago, and the song is in my head. Practical application to an abstract matter.

Something special ....