Saturday, April 4, 2009

The gift of laughter in a mad world

This was the young lady, obviously in the photograph to the left, I escorted home after Fram the First and I completed our performance at the casino Friday evening. Can I pick them, or what? Oh, baby. That girl is a born dancer. Fram the First left by himself, mumbling something about wondering if Freyja might be home. Have you noticed yet? Our appearance has changed ever so subtly since our performance last week. This is no mere photographic magic. We, of the Fram clan, are chameleon in nature. You believe me when I say that now, do you not? In case you do not recognize us, that is Fram the First standing with his violin, looking grouchy, as usual. That is me, the handsome, smiling man seated and holding my one true love ever so tightly to my chest.

The reader of novels as author or character ....

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. And that was all his patrimony."

I am not certain how old I was when I first read those words, but probably about the time I was entering my teenage years. They are the opening sentences to the novel, "Scaramouche -- A Romance of the French Revolution," by Rafael Sabatini.

It took me only the amount of time required for an eye to blink to exclaim, "That’s me." Most of you have had encounters with teenage boys, so you I know what I mean, especially if you have read this book.

"Andre-Louis, on his side, had made the most of his opportunities. You behold him at the age of four-and-twenty stuffed with learning enough to produce an intellectual indigestion in an ordinary mind. Out of his zestful study of Man, from Thucydides to the Encyclopaedists, from Seneca to Rousseau, he had confirmed into an unassailable conviction his earliest conscious impressions of the general insanity of his own species. Nor can I discover that anything in his eventful life ever afterwards caused him to waver in that opinion."

I moved from the "children's" section of the library to the adult section when I was 11. I recall, with clarity, a scowling librarian on the telephone talking with my mother to ensure that she was aware of my newfound reading list and it met her approval. Being an avid reader herself, permission was granted by ma-ma. Afterward, I managed to figure out on my own that the ornery-looking librarian, herself, approved of my choices or she simply would have told me, "no," rather than calling my mother.

I still remember those first "adult" books checked out from a small, one-room library in a town whose population numbered 713 when the farmers came in on Saturday night. "Northwest Passage" by Kenneth Roberts, "Drums Along the Mohawk" by Walter Edmonds, "The Pagan King" by Edison Marshall. Three historical novels, plus "Peyton Place" by Grace Metalious, which may or may not be considered a historical novel, and "The Heart of the Hunter" also by Marshall, which is neither fiction nor historical, but what could be called the confessions of a man who loved big game hunting. Five books in total. It was summer, and swimming, baseball and reading were all that existed for me. (No matter, I would not trade this away for anything offered a "big city" kid.)

"In body he was a slight wisp of a fellow, scarcely above middle height, with a lean, astute countenance, prominent of nose and cheek-bones, and with lank, black hair that reached almost to his shoulders. His mouth was long, thin-lipped, and humorous. He was only just redeemed from ugliness by the splendour of a pair of ever-questing, luminous eyes, so dark as to be almost black. Of the whimsical quality of his mind and his rare gift of graceful expression, his writings -- unfortunately but too scanty -- and particularly his Confessions, afford us very ample evidence. Of his gift of oratory he was hardly conscious yet ... But the fame he had acquired there was hardly enviable. He was too impish, too caustic, too much disposed -- so thought his colleagues -- to ridicule their sublime theories for the regeneration of mankind. Himself he protested that he merely held them up to the mirror of truth, and that it was not his fault if when reflected there they looked ridiculous."

Well, now, physically some similarities, some differences, were to be noted between Andre-Louis and the young boy reader by the time he reached the age of four and twenty. But, in the mind of the young boy reader, there already existed the seeds of cynicism and skepticism. And, by the time he did reach four and twenty, he could as well have been Andre-Louis reborn.

The beginning of all this probably came years before, with books about magic spells and castles and beautiful princesses and heroic princes, read to him by ma-ma, later spilling over into children's editions of "Robinson Crusoe" and similar tales of adventure and survival.

But, the evolution began there in earnest:

Am I riding in the back seat with Hunter Thompson or with Jack Kerouac; am I James, with my vodka martini in a casino or am I pursuing beautiful Brett in Pamplona, with my wineskin in hand; am I the detective pursuing the Jackal or am I the Jackal, the assassin, himself; am I wandering the streets of Dublin in the wake of the young artist or being shanghaied in San Francisco by Wolf Larsen? Am I damning the torpedoes in Mobile Bay or riding a charger with the 600 into a valley?

Am I starving in the wilderness with Roger's Rangers after burning St. Francis or am I storming the beach at Tarawa with Mac and the Sixth Marines? Am I walking the small town streets in Winesburg, Ohio, or have I been transported from today into 1882 New York City? Am I the reincarnation of Peter Proud or am I searching for Joseph Tully? Am I attending the Yule feast in King Harald Bluetooth's court in the company of Styrbjorn or am I standing next to Cat Shannon, firing a Schmeisser at Kimba's palace guards?

Am I Stephen Rojack, living the American Dream, but facing the devil or am I Robert Langdon, caught up in the midst of a struggle between science and religion? Am I in a canoe with Lewis on a soon-to-be-reservoir river or in a hot air balloon with Andre trying to reach the North Pole? Am I discussing Jean Genet with Jean-Paul or am I debating the first cause with Bertrand Russell? Am I watching Christ face his last temptation or am I or observing the Germanic All-Father, Odin, hanged from a tree for nine days and nights and pierced by his own spear, as the price he is willing to pay to gain wisdom.

I perceive myself to be this. You and you and you each perceive me to be something else. Which of us is correct in our perception of me? Possibly none of us is correct in our perception.

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad." This novel was written the French. I have seen those words translated other ways: "He was born with a smile on his face," and "He was born with a grin curled upon his lips," are two such examples. Even these slight variations affect our perception.

(Theoretically, I will continue this tomorrow or the next day. Thank you, for reading.)

When April with his showers sweet with fruit
The drought of March has pierced unto the root,
And bathed each vein with liquor that has power
To generate therein and sire the flower;
When Zephyr also has, with his sweet breath,
Quickened again, in every holt and heath,
The tender shoots and buds, and the young sun
Into the Ram one half his course has run,
And many little birds make melody
That sleep through all the night with open eye
(So Nature pricks them on to ramp and rage)-
Then do folk long to go on pilgrimage,
And palmers to go seeking out strange strands,
To distant shrines well known in sundry lands.
And specially from every shire's end
Of England they to Canterbury wend,
The holy blessed martyr there to seek,
Who helped them when they lay so ill and weal.


The same lines as last night,
from the "Prologue to The Canterbury Tales"
by Geoffrey Chaucer
but this time as translated into modern English

Friday, April 3, 2009

Picked up at the Doll Hut, but still here

A couple of things. First, people have been asking what I have been doing while I have been absent from the blog. Well, one night I stopped at the Doll Hut where the young lady pictured on the left was successful in her effort to pick me up. I resisted, of course, but when she said I could drive her car, I had to go for it. You might recall me mentioning that Fram the First and I were the opening band at a casino last weekend. As it turns out, a young lady in the audience took a few candid photographs of us during our act. Yes, that's us, live and on stage, watching a redhead on the dance floor. Fram the First is the shorter guy in the ratty outfit. I'm the taller guy wearing my new boots. If you missed us, we've been signed for a return engagement this evening. You'll never see another performance like the one we put on.

One engagement shortened, another continued ….

My last post was on March 31. What has happened since?

One of our most important national holidays, April Fool's Day, has come and gone again. More Americans probably identify with this holiday than any other except for Halloween and St. Patrick's Day. Pity.

I did not work Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. I did, however, drive in to work on Tuesday and gave notice effective May 31. It is a Sunday. It seemed appropriate since I do not work on Sundays.

On Thursday, I did work. I changed my date of notice to April 30. It is on a Thursday, too. (You think this is mere coincidence? It was fated.) Thursday is Thor's Day. That would seem even more meaningful if I happened to be Norwegian. However, since I am of Algerian origins, it really does not matter.

I usually give a month's notice when I leave a job. It seems I also usually end up staying an extra week, or two, or three, or even a couple of months, to accommodate the bad habits of other people in their hiring procedures or their procrastination in deciding exactly what to do about my departure. Maybe an extra week or two this time, but absolutely no couple of months.

I did miss posting here the first night I was gone, although I am not certain why. At the other end of the spectrum, I almost dipped my pen in water, Katy, and did it all in. I also almost got radical and changed everything from the top down. Nothing overly artistic or melodramatic. If I wanted a pretty page, I am the type who would hire someone to make it. Just like I hire someone to make my yard pretty. If a person does not like doing something, hire someone who does like doing it or, at least, someone who needs the money and is reasonably competent at the job.

I thought about changing my persona, but decided, no, I pretty much like myself, and there would be the chance I would not like whatever (or whoever) new I might create. So, why risk turning myself -- a loveable, brilliant, handsome, masculine, genius, poet, warrior, outdoorsman -- into someone other than my actual being?

My "stories in column form" probably have been concluded, unless I actually do go nuts, which seems to be a popular standard of activity these days.

I thought about tossing away magic girls and Helens and young ladies and, instead, advertising for an executive assistant of the female persuasion. But, again, no. That would take the mystery out of the equation and probably, in three or four years, the IRS would be looking for me for failing to pay Social Security taxes for the pleasure of her company. Since I am not politically connected to Barack Obama, that could mean real trouble for me. No, best to continue the search and even to widen it. Speaking of which, if anyone reading this is a young lady, please leave your name and ....

On the other side of the coin, I have come to the conclusion that far too many people know far too much personal information about me. Therefore, from this day forward, I never went to college, I never worked for a newspaper, I never was in the Marine Corps, I am frightened of firearms and hate canoes, I love winter, especially when freezing rain falls, and I want to be a math teacher when I grow up. Some might accuse me of attempting to change my persona here, however, do not be confused. I simply am trying to create the proper balance between my actual self and a mystery man.

One last bit of friendly advice, particularly for anyone who might have stumbled in here for the first time. That face glaring at you over my shoulder is not Fram the First, the man who discovered North Dakota. Never heard of him. Never-the-less, if I were you, I would treat Fram the Actual (me) with great consideration and very polite language. This character (the one I do not know who you see over my shoulder) seems to have a fixation on me. Something about a fortune in gold buried at latitude 38 02, longitude .... never mind.

See you at the garage sales this weekend, and the Poco Loco Saloon (probably the Doll Hut for last call) on Saturday night. Remember, fit in where you fit.

To conclude, you probably will have me around at least to the end of April.

Whan that aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of march hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(so priketh hem nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of engelond to caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke.

Some lines from the "Prologue to The Canterbury Tales"
by Geoffrey Chaucer

as originally written, in Middle English

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A thousand-year kiss & see you in a while

Until a few days ago, I never had noticed how closely I resemble the young man in "The Kiss," the statue by Auguste Rodin, shown on the left. It is almost as though I modeled for him. Remarkably, the same is true with the statue of Hiawatha and Minnehaha, which stands in a park in Minneapolis. The model who posed as Hiawatha could be me. See the resemblance?

Imagine yourself one of the artist's models ....

I look like him. Do you look like her? How long will that kiss last -- a thousand years? Longer? Think about it, anyway. Spring is hiding just around the corner ....

It is time for a break in writing, but not in thinking ....

This marks No. 70 in a row for me. My goal had been 30 days in a row, and it seems silly now, but it still also seems a good way to stomp down winter.

I will be taking the rest of the week off in terms of writing. I will, however, be doing what I originally came here doing -- floating on the sea of blogs and reading and, maybe, writing comments.

Those who regularly favor me with a comment still will be receiving them regularly. Those who never leave a comment, why in the world are you here? The purpose of this place is communication, isn't it? Talk to me, or ignore me. Just don't stand there smiling at me.

Communication is the most difficult task between any two human beings, I think. Especially in the form of the written word. No eye contact. No speech inflection. How does an individual know how another will interpret his or her comment? Whatever. (Is whatever really a feminine-style notation? If so, I will stop using it.)

Whatever the hell? How is that for being masculine? (Note the puffed up chest and the strut in the walk.)

Anyway, I need a few days to think about this and to wander a while. I need some time to evaluate what I have been doing (what have I been doing?) and to see what direction to take this blog for the next 70 days. I am questioning my original intent, in a way. There might be a few idiots wandering the earth who think they can be 20 forever. But, how does a person maintain equilibrium between experience and maturity with a sense of youthful curiosity and excitement? Man or woman? I am not certain it is possible.

My own "thing" is not only to find a lover, but to find a companion, each to feed the ego of the other. It is not idle wandering I want, but two people each with some manner of goal or accomplishment they search for, each who can assist (and are willing to assist) the other in finding or achieving the missing piece of their lives. With winter over and my head clear, I want to consider more if such a partnership is even possible.

I hope some will think about this and leave comments for me. I will be back by the weekend if not before and, in between, will be visiting anyone who writes regularly.

I should have been born a wild-eyed Southern boy. Life would have been so much simpler.

I almost forgot. Take another look at the statues at the top of the page. If you resemble the young lady, leave me a note. This is open to any young lady, not just to those named Helen. I know which statue I prefer, which do you?

Music Note: Listening to Steppenwolf ....
Specifically, "Move Over" ....
Some lines from: "Ride With Me:"

How ya gonna make it baby?
That's the question to be asked
Life goes on around you
In so many different ways

I know my share of history
How hard it is to be free
From wearing masks that turn to skin
Hiding what you could have been?

And I, I, I'm so confused
Which way, which way to choose?
Ride with me baby
'Til the end of the day.

Monday, March 30, 2009

When the gunfire sounds, it is just me

This is Fram’s custom-built .45 caliber, 1911-style, semi-automatic pistol. This was made for competitive shooting in pistol matches, and has seen a fair amount of activity in that arena.

It was not exactly summer, but it still was hot ....

Bang, bang.

I never have been able to understand why anyone is afraid of firearms other than because they have a tendency to watch too much television news or live in areas which are exposed to a great deal of random, violent crime.

Sorry, I don't mean to be nasty, but taking firearms away from law-abiding citizens will not reduce crime, only increase it. Taking guns away from the citizenry will only enlarge the chance of abuse by government. Pity the people who do not grasp that. To risk over use of an old cliché, freedom is not free.

Enough politicizing. Today, I cleared my mind of dust and cobwebs. I fired a few guns indoors and outdoors. Firing a rifle or a handgun gives me renewed self-confidence, a sense of freedom, a knowledge that no man has more power than I do (unless, of course, he is flying at 3,000 feet with a heat-seeking missile), a feeling of actually possessing what might be the most important of all personal rights -- the ability to protect one's self, and others.

There is not much that can surpass the sound of gunfire to me, the feel of a pistol kick in the hand, the smell of cordite, the sight of a dead-on shot. Nothing mean about it, nothing sinister about it, nothing evil about it. It is you, only you, knowing you can fire straight and true if you ever have to do it. Maybe having had neighbors murdered makes it easier for me than it might for some to others comprehend that, but, no matter.

Today, I ran a combat course at a private range with a custom-made, 1911, semi-automatic, .45 caliber pistol that cost a tidy sum. This event is pretty much like you might see in the movies. Moving as fast as you are able, firing at both stationary and moving targets, not shooting "good” guys, scoring the best hits. How did I do? Well, I am not Dirty Harry Calahan, but I did ok, especially considering it has been a couple of years since last doing this type of thing.

Before that, I had popped off 60 rounds at stationary targets with my favorite concealed-carry 1911. It is a Colt Gold Cup, and is pure beauty to shoot. I tried three others I own, as well: A Browning 9 mm that I keep trying to fully master, but never can; a Colt Mustang that is like magic in my hand. Some people say that it is too small for a self-defense weapon (.380 caliber / 9 mm Kurtz), but I think those who say that would change their minds if they could see me shoot with it; and, finally, my Fabrique Nationale that I bought last Thanksgiving, but had not fired yet. It’s .25 caliber / 6.35 mm).

Allow me to interrupt for a moment with one of my favorite quotes when I happen to think of it. This line is in a letter from firearms expert Geoffrey Boothroyd to Ian Fleming:

"I like everything about your James Bond character except his deplorable taste in weapons, a .25 caliber Beretta is utterly useless as well as being a lady's gun ... and not a very nice lady at that."

Firearms experts, especially those appearing on television news programs, usually are like political experts; lots of technical data and education, but little real world experience. Such is life, and who cares about them? Listen to the pros, which does not mean a person is required to follow their advice. Do not waste your time at all listening to television analysts about firearms.

Finally, I borrowed a Ruger Mini-14 (rifle) and played with it for 40 rounds so I might experience a bit of rifle time. I traded away my Mini-14, which was my one-time "truck rifle," some years back. Sometimes I think of buying another. The only thing I missed out on today was firing a revolver. My preference is for semi-autos, and those who shoot must also clean when the fun is done. With five pistols already in the lineup, plus a rifle, I opted out of taking a revolver.

It all added up to a good , fine time on a pretty nice March day for Minnesota. Lots of fun. No matter what anyone thinks or where anyone else is opinion-wise about firearms, I am more in tune with myself after today. More relaxed. More at peace. More comfortable with the world. More aware of me. More like the Viking who a thousand years ago said, "I believe in the strength of my own right arm." (As long as I am free to hold a .45 auto in the hand of that arm.) Isn't self-confidence and personal freedom what we all want for ourselves?

Music Note: Content (again and again) to listen to a classic rock station on the radio .... and very happy I am because ....
Currently playing: "With or Without You" by U2 ....

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Working out, swimming & girl watching

We were scheduled to have photographs of Fram working out today, but somehow the camera was dropped into a swimming pool. Someone reported that Fram walked right into the pool when he turned his head to look at a young lady strolling past. Under the circumstances, these representations will have to do to illustrate Saturday in the life of Fram the Actual.

Splish-splash: Washing winter from my body ....

My winter, my personal calendar for winter, runs from November 1 through March 31. As I have noted before on these pages, I once attended a Labor Day picnic during which snow flurries were among the afternoon guests. I have seen three or four inches of snow accumulate the week of Memorial Day. The most violent blizzard I ever have been caught in took place on April 14. Never-the-less, those five months of "Fram Winter" are all I am willing to tolerate, no matter what comes out of the blue during the other seven months of the year.

This means we are in the midst of the last weekend of winter, at least according to my calendar. Time to begin the festival of spring.

I rolled into bed about 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning. At 9:45 a.m., I opened my eyes. I felt wide awake and refreshed, so much so my first thought was that I had slept round the clock. (I have done that two or three times during my life; maybe more, who keeps count?) But that was not the case. Four hours of sleep again, but with clarity and clearness to accompany them.

(Big time-out. "Stay [just a little bit longer]" came on the radio. The Jackson Browne version. That song kills me. Lot of memories .... ok .... back to here again.)

After coffee, toast and a bit of television news, I replenished food shelves and liquor cabinet. Then I went to a Y (as in MCA). It was my first visit there in at least two years. I went through about 90 minutes of leisurely working out. I had resumed a few almost-daily push-ups and sit-ups and what-nots toward the end of February, so it was not exactly a shock to the system.

Next, I went to the pool and swam for about 30 minutes. Other than a pair of fast laps from sheer exuberance, I mostly just hung out: Closing my eyes and sinking, drifting, returning to the womb (sort of), seeing how long I could hold my breath, watching the young ladies, splish-splash.

Finally, I stood under a very hot shower for nearly 30 minutes, washing away the last remnants of this long, dreary winter from my body.

The weather report for tomorrow (later today, actually) is good. Saturday, the body was cleansed of winter. On Sunday, cleansing of the mind will begin in earnest. Monday, a few inches of snow are in the forecast, but who cares? Certainly not me. Winter ends for me on Wednesday, no matter what happens .... do you understand what I am saying?

Mother, I went to China this morning.
The trees were pagodas, the puddles were seas.
Dragons were hiding behind the begonias.
I was a mandarin.
Willows were blowing.
Lies, lies, said she.
And I hid from her frightening eyes.
who can say, who can say?

Children, the gardens belong now to goblins.
The willows spread legends, the waterfall plays.
Fairytales wind like a web round the window.
Goodnight to all birds now.
The night's wings are folding.
Lies, lies, said I.
But I hid from her wonderful eyes.
who can say, who can say?


"Who Can Say"
by Alastair Reid

Music Note: Content (again) to listen to a classic rock station on the radio ….
Currently playing: "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol

Something special ....