Sunday, April 19, 2015

When I'm cruisin' in overdrive

Fresh from the annals of 2009
I rarely look at my posts from the past and, when I do, it is for specific purpose rather than for general reminiscing. But, the other day, I did wander through several of them. The thing that struck me most was how many videos from YouTube which I selected to accompany my posts have "disappeared." They "do not exist" or "accounts have been closed" or "copyrights have been infringed upon" or, maybe, they were merely a figment of my imagination. The last item is me trying to be funny again.
Anyway, I decided to re-run a post from November 5, 2009. I doubt I will ever do this again .... run some old stuff, I mean .... but it is my mood at the moment, and my moods rule me these days. Perhaps, I am trying to bring back November 2009. I was happier then.

Happiness is momentary. Remember ?? That is me, one of my mantras, one of my absolute truths. I have been spending a considerable amount of time dwelling on the past this winter -- the past two winters, actually. Maybe, I need to read more of Hunter S. Thompson's books. Maybe, I need to do something without rhyme or reason. Maybe, I need to buy a new car and fall in love with it. (Incidentally, the Audi and the Mustang in the 2009 piece are gone and were replaced by a "hot" Mercury, and the Suburban has been replaced by a newer one.)

I thought I might mention that way back when the post below originally was published, only Natasha, aka Natalie, a Russian-American, left a comment. "She" was a fascinating woman, who once lived in Syria, and, I think, I know why .... but she is gone now, as are so many from 2009. "She" wanted me to travel to Russia with her, and promised to get me inside an "Avtomat Kalashnikova" plant. I almost said, lead on, baby !! "She" was the original she in my mind, but she never knew it because she left and others arrived and took center stage.
One thing is certain: As someone recently reminded me, ".... incompatibility is a reality in all couples ...."
This obvious, simple truth brought realization to me, that it is time to stop searching for my own interpretation of a holy grail or thinking about third chances or even finding a compatible companion. Sort of time for me to forget Neverland and Sanctuary/Refuge and Mythago Wood.
So, what were you doing in November 2009 ?? Were you happier then than you are now ??
He who walks through life as a chameleon sometimes goes to great lengths to present both an appearance and a persona to fit the occasion. Here is a photograph of Fram, taken while on the road (slightly off it at that precise moment) during a recent excursion. Judging solely from his appearance, it probably is safe to assume he was recognized by few and adored by many while on this trip, and that this "boy racer's" style of driving was somewhat more "accelerated" in an Audi than it would have been in a Chevrolet Suburban.

The chameleon returns .... well, sort of ....

It was not too long ago that I was writing an email and I made this comment: "I am melancholy, but happy, if that makes sense. A paradox. It comes whenever I listen to the music of Boston, which I am doing." Another day, I said I needed to play some heavy-duty rock and roll to prepare myself to be "warlike," so as to be in the proper frame of mind for cheering on the New York Yankees in the World Series. These are not the first times I have said such words in respect to the emotional effects of music, and it hardly is an original thought. After all, once upon a time someone noted, "Music soothes the savage ...."

More recently, again while writing an email after having sold my Chevrolet Suburban, I made this comment: "I should have sold the Ford Mustang and the Audi, and kept the Suburban, I think. The Suburban was more me, and I do not drive crazy in it like I often do in the Mustang and the Audi. Style and mannerisms in dress, in vehicles, in music -- in many things -- affect one's attitudes and behavior more than commonly realized, I believe. I drive like a teenage nut case in my Audi, and like a mature, well-mannered adult in my Suburban."

Image is one of the magic words here. Attitudes and behavior patterns are other key terms in the sense they are influenced by the image we desire, and vise versa. Some examples:

I have a well-worn, black, leather jacket. Some might describe it as a biker's jacket, and it shows the wear on its front that only miles riding against the wind can make upon leather. At times when I wear my hair "a bit longer than the norm," I am more inclined to wear this jacket while out and about than I otherwise am when my hair is cut rather short. Visualize the image, if you would: Biker jacket, jeans, cowboy boots, hair over my shoulders and probably sunglasses. Then imagine my attitude and my behavior, even my speech and my gestures. A chameleon passes among you.

In other moods, I will wear a Marine Corps T-shirt or battle jacket when I stroll the shopping markets. The Marine Corps elements affect my attitude and my behavior differently than does my biker jacket or, going the opposite direction, than does wearing a pin-striped, navy blue suit. Similarly, I might not only appear to be, but actually take on, the persona of entirely different people when I wear cowboy boots in contrast to when I am wearing running shoes. We all do, do we not? Or not? As I wander through the sea of blogs, I wonder how accurate a portrait many internet authors present of themselves.

The interesting part about this, of course, is not only how a piece of clothing will alter attitude and behavior, but how the image presented will influence the reaction of people encountered.

Lightning strikes! After all these months, I am drifting back into thinking and writing about the chameleon mode again -- the reporter as a chameleon. Do you remember him? I dress and act and talk like the image I wish to portray, like the person I wish you to think I am, to accomplish the results I wish to achieve. One day, the reporter wears a leather jacket, jeans and boots to interview a drug dealer; the next day, the reporter dresses in a three-piece suit to interview a bank president. In its most elemental form, the idea is to look, act and talk like the person being interviewed in order to win his confidence and trust.

So, then, there is one consistent element in my life, it seems: The chameleon, or, to take it even one step further, the masked chameleon. By all means, lift the mask and reveal tomorrow. Where have I heard that before?

In this instance, though, my thoughts today originate from questioning how the chameleon persona might affect the individual who is one -- his attitudes and his behaviors -- rather than how it influences the people he encounters and interacts with along the path he travels. Absolutely "fascinating," to revive an oft-used word from the chameleon's past. It might be worth writing a post about someday .... somewhere .... over the rainbow ....


Daliana Pacuraru said...

Hello Fram. I don;t know what happened but I can not comment on others blogs.Now I use another ID....A GOOGLE ID ... Well...I hope you are ok.My best regards.
And yes, I was happier in 2009.:)

Fram Actual said...

Your appearances here have become so rare, Daliana, it is like waiting for winter to become spring. I am pleased and grateful you have found your way back again.

You seem to be working day and night, judging by the frequency of your Graphic Advertising blog posts. I have not really kept up with the business climate in Romania, so I am unaware how events in neighboring countries and overall commerce in the European marketplace might be affecting the situation. I can only hope things are going well and wish for a future favorable for you personally and for your country.

As for me, you probably can tell that while there have been issues from the past reappearing in my life, I am essentially unchanged during the past few years and continue to walk in a circle rather than in any new direction. I am beginning to think I am fated, that decisions made in the past have led me into a maze from which there is no exit. I am adjusting to that thought.

Anyway .... again, I am very glad to see your face and to hear your voice once more. I hope it will not be so long before you find your way back here again. In the meanwhile, thank you, for remembering me.

P.S. If I find a way to return to 2009, I will send you a map.

ANITA said...

Hello Fram.Now is the best time ever!
Made up my mind to go to Santrini Oiga in Greece.Taken away the commentfield at my blog.

Nice car.Miss Magdalene and the fun you 2 had:))

All good and Nice to see the Teddy Bear.Again.

Greetings Anita

ANITA said...


Fram Actual said...

I seem to recall someone I knew quite well who took a cruise ship tour of a number of Greek islands once upon a time, and Santorini was among the stops. She enjoyed it immeasurably, and hopes to return some day. I am sure you will enjoy such a journey just as much as she did, Anita.

Now, why would you eliminate comments from your blog? They always seem pleasant and complimentary.

Yes, the Audi was nice. I often think of getting another, but I really would rather try something else, an automobile different from any I have owned in the past. Yes, Mag is a very sweet and intelligent and beautiful young lady, and it was a privilege to spend time with her. Yes, it is always nice when Fram Bear puts in an appearance. He is a handsome and a talented fellow.

It also is nice to have you come to visit me, Anita, and to leave your thoughts for me. I hope you will keep an eye on me, and I will keep one on you.

Snowbrush said...

I’m surprised that you like Thompson but not Kerouac, both being tormented, self-revealing, self-destructive, addicted, and primarily famous for one book, which centered around travel.

“it is time to stop searching for my own interpretation of a holy grail…”

What makes you think you have a choice? When someone says that it’s time to do this or do that (in regard to life-course guiding motivations), I never believe them because I’ve never seen them do it.

“what were you doing in November 2009 ?? Were you happier then than you are now??”

I was trying to survive a life spent in chronic pain and partial disability, just as I am now. I doubt that my happiness level was appreciably different.

“These are not the first times I have said such words in respect to the emotional effects of music”

After years of no pot, I tried medical marijuana about four years ago. It was way stronger than the pot from the old days, and I enjoyed it a great deal. Its most obvious effect was that overnight, it made me give up NPR talk radio in favor of music. After a couple of years, the pot no longer agreed with me, and when I gave it up, I gave up music. If not for Peggy, I would rarely listen to it.

“I might not only appear to be, but actually take on, the persona of entirely different people when I wear cowboy boots in contrast to when I am wearing running shoes. We all do, do we not?”

No. I don’t relate in the least to what you are talking about. I think you have a greater flair for the dramatic than I, or, perhaps, a looser sense of whom you are. I assume that people who feel as you describe are probably suited for careers in acting.

Fram Actual said...

Actually, I do not care for Hunter S. Thompson. I have read only two of his books: "Hell's Angels ...." and "The Rum Diary." My remark was in the context of doing something "weird" or, at least, out of the ordinary for me, like read Thompson or do something without rhyme or reason or buy a new car .... to do something not usual for me in an effort to break the spell which has hold of me at the moment.

Oh, whoa .... I have made a number of life-altering decisions in the past and could make another at any time I choose. I even know such changes can take place overnight under the right circumstances. I can change jobs or even careers as easily as I can change from cowboy boots to Berluti loafers. Most people fall into ruts as they move through life; I begin to get restless and start thinking about what I want to do next when I find myself becoming "rut-bound." Many people are afraid, or at least hesitant, regarding changes in their lifestyles; I thrive on change. It is difficult to believe you know no one who has done it, unless I am misunderstanding you.

In November 2009, I was six years younger, had plans, had an agenda, knew something new was around the corner .... those things made me happier than I am now, which is why I need another change now. I live, I experience, I learn, I grow = ability to change ....

I would suggest, Snowbrush, that you are in the minority if music does not have an emotional impact on you.

As for a particular persona accompanying a certain manner or style of dress, I would think that influence applies to many others, too. As Polonius told Laertes: "For the apparel oft proclaims the man" .... and, at least for me, it influences my persona, as well.

Thank you, Snowbrush, for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate hearing thoughts in reaction to my words.

ANITA said...

goodmorning wolf...late answer...yes i think Santorini will be a good choice for a week..but cypruz is in my heart:))))

Yes,where did Magda go?

Apropo..comments..iam tired of it..tired of yes thank you ,no thank you..all is good ..stupid comments..

Here we have sun 20 degrees amd all is good:))

Hope you are too!

Kiss is on the way over the oacen xxx

Fram Actual said...

Just last night I once again was reviewing information about tramp steamer traffic to Europe. You might recall I have mentioned this idea in the past, Anita. All I would need to do is drive to the Lake Superior port city of Duluth, Minnesota, about one-hundred, seventy-five miles from where I live, board a ship there and I would not have to step off it until it arrived at a European seaport. I think it would be a marvelous trip.

I have had no direct contact with Mag for a year and one-half, so I can only assume she is well and fine and happy and living in or near Warsaw.

The seasons continue to be confused for me. There was on-and-off snow all day on Tuesday, but it has disappeared now and the sun is shining. It is cold, though ....

I appreciate this new visit, Anita. We shall see which destinations the winds of summer carry each of us to during the months ahead.

Smareis said...

Eu também não sou de reler muito as minhas postagens anteriores, nem publicar novamente, mais sempre têm algumas que vale a pena ver, e compartilhar de novo.
Não tinha lido essa postagem em 2009 acho que cheguei depois no seu blog, mas sempre é válido ler postagem passada. Eu acho que alguns vídeos do YouTube desaparece da postagem depois de alguns anos que foram incorporado na postagem. Depende muito do acesso que as pessoas têm no link que foi colocado no blog. Se o acesso for raro o YouTube tem cancelamento automático. Já aconteceu em outros blogs que já tive. O que importa pra eles é a quantidade de acesso, por isso raramente coloco vídeo nas minhas postagens. Coloco mesmo só música na lateral fora da postagem. O YouTube é um canal completo super.- .interessante, a gente encontra tudo que precisa por lá, mais tem vez que deixa a desejar.
Creio que cada ano, cada dia, cada minuto, é diferente um do outro. Pensamento muda a forma muda, tudo muda... 2009 foram assim também. Não sei se fui mais feliz do que agora. A única coisa é agradecer a DEUS por ter me dado à oportunidade que chegar nesse novo ano. Quantas pessoas que ficaram pra trás, e não tiveram a oportunidade de chegar até aqui... A vida é muito curiosa às vezes.

Gostei do ursinho no carro. Uma ótima foto, um bonito carro. É bom ser camaleão de vez enquanto.
Um paradoxo que às vezes faz sentido. “Feliz, mais triste”! Ninguém é feliz completo. Mesmo estando alegre podemos sentir lá no fundo a tristeza passeando pelos contornos da alma. A alegria é a verdadeira prova dos nove.

Gostei do vídeo, Queen excelente. Canta muito.

Sorrisos Fram!

Fram Actual said...

Well, you taught me some things I did not know about YouTube, Smareis. I have been thinking about abandoning the use of music videos altogether, but I probably will not do that right now. For that matter, I have been thinking about changing the nature of my blog altogether, but I probably will not do that, either .... right now, anyway.

There are times I am melancholy and would like to go back and re-experience / re-live events from my past. Thomas Wolfe wrote a novel entitled, "You Can't Go Home Again." Those words have been part of my dogma for years, but they do not stop me from wishing it could be so at times. Your philosophy in this regard is intelligent and realistic, and you are right: ".... every year, every day, every minute, is different from each other." I know that, but I am too much of a dreamer to believe reality is reality. You are more wise than am I, Smareis.

Yes, Fram Bear traveled with me quite a bit in that car. He "lives" in Poland now. I sometimes wish I had that car yet, but cars come and go and I was too much of a reckless driver with the Audi.

I enjoy and appreciate your comments for my posts, Smareis, and the fact that you respond so fully to what I write in my posts amazes me. You are very thorough, and express your thoughts well to everything I write. For me to merely say thank you seems inadequate .... but, I am sure you know my thank you is sincere and I am sure you sense my nervousness while I am waiting for your comments to appear. You know me well enough now, I think, to understand it is my nature to worry.

So, I will close with thank you, once more, Smareis. I hope your week is going well .... see you on the next sunny day ....

Something special ....