Sunday, June 30, 2013

A sunset is where you find it .... is it not?

Sunrise, and a new beginning. The day is new. Life is new. So, then, what is sunset? The end of something? Most certainly. The end of another day .... another day without you. But, might the sunset signal not only an ending, but a beginning? Sunset signals the arrival of darkness, and darkness offers the opportunity to fade away within it .... to disappear .... to vanish. Darkness offers the opportunity for stealth and for invisibility. It is like the myth of the American cowboy: To ride off into the sunset. (Interpretations welcome.) By the way, this sunset was captured on the South Dakota/Nebraska border -- sort of in cowboy country. As for the music, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we offer Don Dokken and associates. The initial piece is from way back when (1987) and the second performance is sort of from now (2002) .... hmmm .... now? .... well, what is a decade among friends? Anyway, the songs pretty much play into the theme of my words and the photograph. Or, am I wrong?
In which direction to run, that is the question

In November 2010, an acquaintance of mine was told that he had cancer and, in all probability, his days were numbered. Count the months between then and now. A bit fewer than thirty-two months. About two years, eight months. Roughly one hundred, thirty-seven weeks. That is how long he lived after learning his likely fate.

Quite naturally in light of this, I have been absorbed in thoughts about how I have spent the past two years, eight months -- considering the things I have done, thinking about the places I have been, wondering about what I have accomplished and failed to accomplish.

I have complained that the last two years have been among the least satisfying in my life and that, in some ways, I have felt as though I have been bound in chains and carried an albatross around my neck. Melodramatic? Maybe, but that has been my mood and my sense of myself since the autumn of 2010.

So, how am I going to spend the next two years? As one element of it, I have been building up to making another "run" in September or October. A "run" is my way of saying another plunge into a manner of life different from/different than my usual style of existence. If the "run" lasts for a year or longer, in my personal vocabulary I define it as an "incarnation." Anyway, terminology aside .... my initial thought for the destination of my next "run" is once again Europe, but ....

But. There always is a "but" or a "maybe" .... there always is a bit of indecisiveness before leaping off any cliff into any sea.

And, besides that, no matter how quickly one "runs," there never is enough time to "run" everywhere, and ....

Everywhere and anywhere are constantly undergoing change. Even if you or I could reach everywhere tomorrow, the next day it (or they) would be different in many ways. Some people would be gone and others would have arrived. Buildings and landscapes would have changed even as the seasons change. So, how does one choose wisely?

Never enough time, never enough sunsets ....

What if some term of time -- two to three years -- was all there was left for you and you knew it? How would you live your life? Where would you go? What would you do? And, even if this were not the situation, if you have the freedom and the ability to do so, why not live like your tomorrows are numbered?

So, where to go .... where to "run".... where to search for possibly the next "incarnation" .... any thoughts? Any suggestions? Any advice?


Smareis said...

Olá caro amigo Fram,

Gostei da sua analise na postagem.
Nascer do sol e sempre um começo, é a chance de começar um novo dia. Por do sol é o fim de um dia mais também é um começo da noite, talvez seja a chance pra corrigir os erros que foram cometidos ao dia, fazer diferente no novo dia que vai nascer. A vida é passageira e talvez tenham tão pouco tempo e nem sabemos, o mistério da vida só quem tem a chave é o criador do sol e todas as outras coisas.
Sobre o seu conhecido, é triste isso. Em que direção correr. Muito difícil achar direção quando se esta numa situação assim. Acho que existe uma direção acima de nós, onde só o criador pode nos orientar acalmar.
O ser humano anda sempre insatisfeito com a vida, eu, por exemplo, ando assim tentando não pensar, mais a vida nos cobra esses pensamentos. É como que se assobiasse no nosso ouvido dizendo precisa de mudança. Às vezes ficamos prisioneiro de nossos próprios pensamentos, da nossa própria insatisfação. Precisa ser feita mudança, mais a gente não faz. Mas não há nada mais importante que o respirar todos os dias. Viver um dia após o outro.
O amanha nunca é o mesmo do hoje, as coisas são diferente todos dias, mesmo que achamos que são iguais algumas vezes. Não existe tempo suficiente, isso eu concordo contido plenamente.
Eu não sei o que faria se tivesse meu tempo marcado, não tem pra onde correr, o que fazer. Fico melancólica só em pensar... Mas é importante procurar fazer o melhor enquanto há tempo, tentar pelo menos!!!! Foi por isso que o criador não deu esse direito ao homem de saber seu tempo na terra.
Fico feliz que já tem plano pra seus próximos destino.
Pular de um penhasco é uma decisão muito difícil. Sorriso! Ahaha!
Adorei a música, o por do sol é divino, maravilhoso. Exala vida.

Deixo um grande abraço e desejo de uma excelente semana.

Fram Actual said...

Thank you, for discussing your thoughts about what I have written here, Smareis. It is not often anyone takes the time to leave their words here for me these days, and even less often anyone takes the time to enter into a conversation with me. I appreciate your presence.

The concept of knowing how long one has to live is fascinating to discuss, but, yes, for most people it is best not to know when death will arrive while still trying to live life always remembering that each day might be the last. The man I spoke of in my post knew in his head he only had a few years to live from that day when he was diagnosed with cancer, but he hoped in his heart for a miracle. He was religious, and took comfort in his faith.

Sunrise and sunset can be equally magical and equally relevant in our lives. And, the frequent beauty of both cannot be denied. I guess I prefer sunsets, although I am not altogether certain why.

Someone who knows me and who has been reading my posts during the past two years might have a notion why I have felt like I was bound by chains. Often, we can walk away from situations and change our lives -- free ourselves, in a sense -- if we wish to and if we have the courage to do so. However, we might have responsibilities and obligations that are beyond our control. That has been my situation. Fate trapped me for a few years, but now I am free to "run" wherever I wish, whenever I wish in search of a new "incarnation." So, we shall see where my spirit guides me.

Thank you, once again, for your visit and your words, Smareis.

A Cuban In London said...

Just like your previous post with that glorious sunset, this sunrise prompts many thoughts. This is the point when I refuse to be a rational being and would rather be accepted as a pure sentient being. Just, feelings and emotions. Sometimes they say more than all the blogposts in the world.

Greetings from London.

Fram Actual said...

I wonder how many sunsets the "average" person usually sees in a life time. I do not mean the sun disappearing behind buildings in a metropolitan area thirty minutes before actual sunset, or in deep woodlands or in mountain country when the trees or the craggy peaks prohibit an unobscured view no less than do the buildings of a city.

The sea -- big, open water, that is to say -- and the prairie flatlands offer the only true view of a sunset, and clouds often lend majesty to sunsets there, along with spectacular colors and the artistry of Nature.

But, places like the prairies of the Dakotas, Nebraska, Montana provide the best views -- even better than those over big, open water -- because they also will blend in the colors of the terrain and the plants with the sunset, especially in the autumn.

Yes, CiL, this is where logic and reason become secondary to feelings and emotions. No matter how many sunsets we see, we can never see enough.

Thanks, for coming by again and for leaving your thoughts.

★MaRiBeL★ said...

║ (●) ♫
┊┊★┊★┊┊┊☆☆┊·Feliz fin de semana·┊☆☆┊┊┊★┊★┊┊

Fram Actual said...

Yes, MaRiBeL .... thank you, for your visit to me and for your wish for a happy weekend. It is nearly gone now, but it has been a very pleasant few days, indeed, which is why I am so late responding to your comment.

I hope your weekend was as enjoyable as mine, and wish you good fortune in the week we are about to begin.

Thanks, again, MaRiBeL ....

Something special ....