Thursday, June 3, 2010

The return & the next departure

This is a photograph of the near-full moon (with a bit of reflected double image) taken a few days ago from the living room window of the townhouse where I now (temporarily) reside. Have you ever looked out over a more dismal, boring, innocuous view? Yet, this is the only type of setting countless people have to look out at for countless years. How do they stand it? Go back among my commentaries and compare this photo to the remarkable, fascinating, compelling views I had from the windows of The Apartment in Warsaw. To laugh or to cry, that should be the question. Ah, well. With nothing to look at through this window, my powers of thought and concentration should show remarkable improvement by the end of summer.

Rambling on & on -- verbally and literally

Part 2 of 2

To be honest, my return to America was generated for several reasons. Yes, primarily the sale of my house, but not the least of which was because I simply wanted to hear people speaking English in shops and on television and on the streets. Now, I find myself missing Europe very much -- the look of the cities and the smiles of many of the people I met. I need to return to learn if my attachment is merely melancholy memories or actual feelings. But, whether my return is for a few weeks or for long-term, only time will reveal -- because, inside of me, I have no inkling. Moods and emotions and circumstances often shift with the tides of life.

Just about the only place I do not want to go in Europe is to Italy. I have been to Rome twice. I am bored beyond mere words of hearing how great and grand and glorious Italy is, and what terrific ice cream is to be found there. Frankly, I think all ice cream is pretty much the same. Now, if we should begin a discussion about pizza, I might offer an inconsistent opinion .... and, of course, I might be persuaded to re-think my viewpoint if the subject were Venice, or about the northern lakes region, or ....

To ramble on: After my "mini-lease" on the townhouse expires, my intent is to wander a bit and to visit some of my former American "haunts" during September and, hopefully, return to Poland in October for three or four weeks before (maybe or maybe not) drifting on to somewhere else. It is all right to pause now and then, here and there, to rest and to study and to absorb -- but the name of the game is never to stop anywhere for too long and allow the present to become the past.

A person who is standing still obviously is going nowhere. There is a choice between left and right, backward and forward, down and up. Some people believe that there are greener pastures, a place over the rainbow, a land called Xanadu with its own actual sacred river named Alph(a). Even most religions have a version of hell and heaven at the end of earthly life. Theologians may argue cause and effect, but they at least understand that to pause for too long is to perish.

I freely admit that I am very pragmatic about making up my mind when it comes to important matters. My style is to weigh, measure, consider and to actually write out the pros and the cons of all issues when it comes to making major decisions. Then, after more intense soul-searching, I decide what coin I will use and flip it. That was a joke.

Whether I ever mentioned this in past commentaries or not, I cannot recall. But, when I was younger (last year, for example .... I am trying to be funny again), I was fond of bragging that I had done everything there was to do in one form or another by the age of twenty five. Just possibly I will provide a list for illustration sometime, but not this time. Anyway, since then life has been a series of repetitive motions. Pretty much like getting a haircut. (Incidentally, I had my hair trimmed today -- the first time in fifteen months.)

The pattern that emerges, from my standpoint, is forever trying to discover something new (and, I do not mean repeating the same thing in a different location or with a different person -- I have tried that, and it does not work) and, to be honest, I have been searching for a number of years and still am and probably always will be. Remember me? The "happiness is momentary guy?" (Suggestions, anyone? If you are a psychologist, fine; if you are clergy, skip it.)

Enough for right now. The continuation ends, for the time being, but, most certainly, will resume as the three months of Summer progress. Which reminds me, I probably will be in and out of here with a degree of regularity between now and the end of August unless lightning strikes. Send me some good luck on that .... on being struck by lightning, I mean ....




1 comment:

Anita said...

Hi Fram!!!!..Ilike you telling us all this...It is exciting!!!!You live a life many of us wants to do..but do not dare..I love it!!!
I wish you keep in touch with us..because I miss you stories!!!
Your personality :)thanx!!:))))

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