Time only is time for what is meant,
not what was said
"I came here (to Warsaw, Poland) with the intent to construct a long-term, romantic relationship and to hide out in a city / country overflowing with an aurora of history while attempting to do some serious writing ....
"I have since learned what would have been obvious to anyone other than to me: Neither undertaking is conducive to the success of the other. Each one steals time and energy from the other, creating little chance for success in either. But, time will tell. We shall see. Or, as the frequently inebriated Ernest Hemingway was known to observe with astuteness found only in a successful novelist: 'It will either happen or it won't'."
I wrote those words, among others, in a note to five or six individuals around the first of February, give or take. For me to make such a revelation to so many others regarding current, personal matters is, in itself, almost remarkable. There is only one person with whom I communicate regularly (a life-long friend). Correspondence with others only happens when I have a specific reason. It is clear to me now how troubled I was at the time.
To the ghost of Hemingway, I am unhappy to report that it apparently will not "happen." But, as most adventures in life, it provided me with the opportunity to learn (or, perhaps, to re-learn) a valuable lesson or two.
On the other side of the coin, I am most pleased to report to all others that it was the most wonderful Winter I believe I ever have experienced in my entire life -- or, at the very least, for a long, long time. So much so, that I wish to experience it (or something near to it) still again next Winter. Whether this will take place somewhere in the U.S. or at a European destination -- possibly even in the same European city -- will be decided in the months ahead.
One significant difference this coming Winter compared to last Winter will be the focus of my time and attention. It will not be a mix of relationship-building and serious writing. These two most definitely, in my opinion, are not conducive to one another. Each requires its own time and place, I think, and right now I am mostly concerned with serious writing. This time, I will apply what I learned (or, perhaps, re-learned last Winter. This time, I will adhere more to my instincts and less to my emotions.
This is not to say that being in love and serious writing cannot co-exist. In fact, I suppose I agree with Hemingway: ".... the best writing is certainly when you are in love." But, walls must in place before a roof can be constructed.
Ah, yes .... next time .... maybe next Winter. Experience is the best teacher; of that there is no doubt. So, maybe next time ....
Ah, yes .... sweet catharsis ....
Some thoughts from Henry Ford
"For thirty years I have leaned toward the theory of Reincarnation. It seems a most reasonable philosophy and explains many things. No, I have no desire to know what, or who I was once; or what, or who, I shall be in the ages to come.
"This belief in immortality makes present living the more attractive. It gives you all the time there is. You will always be able to finish what you start. There is no fever or strain in such an outlook. We are here in life for one purpose -- to get experience. We are all getting it, and we shall all use it somewhere."