Monday, June 14, 2010

Neverland always has been real for me

This is not a view of Neverland, but, instead, of Once-Upon-A-Time-Land. Some of you might have seen a photograph similar to this in the past. It is the view from the yard of my former "Sanctuary / Refuge." This photo was taken Saturday. South Dakota is in the foreground, the Missouri River is in the distance and Nebraska is across the river. This place is mine no more. Such is the penalty for picking the wrong companion. But, do not fret. It has gone into a trust for the generation which follows me, so, in that way, will remain with my descendants. This is where I spent the weekend, and what follows is the initial commentary of an occasional few to follow concerning thoughts and feelings about life, love and (as threatened) the transmigration of souls.

Who wants to be age eleven forever?

Part 1 of ??

I remember as distinctly as though it happened only a few days ago. I was happy, I was running through a narrow gap between two brick, business buildings, hurrying on my way home. I thought: "It is wonderful to be eleven. What a great age to be. I wish I could stay eleven forever."

Well, I have stayed age eleven forever, in many ways, but not entirely. As recently as 2005, I returned to that very same location, between the two buildings in my hometown, just to stand there for a moment, once again, and to try to understand what it meant to be age eleven. The narrow gap was boarded up, for no other reason I can imagine than to prevent eleven-year-olds from running through it. What cruel times we live in.

At age eleven, I had discovered the adult section of the library and bought my first guns. I had a lake, and a boat to row from one side to the other, and to anchor and to swim from in the middle of the lake, where no one else could go. I was not the typical, but not the exception, either.

Most boys my age preferred baseball to books and fast cars to guns but, remember, this was small town, rural America, and there was a niche for both types (for all types, actually) and both fit in very well. The reader / gunners were outnumbered by the traditional sports types about three or four to one, but there were enough to go around on both sides.

Beyond that, it probably will not surprise you to learn that "Peter Pan" was among my favorite stories as a child, and "Finding Neverland" is among my favorite films today. (White Bear prefers this motion picture above most others, too, and we often go to sleep watching the film or listening to the soundtrack from it.)

As life moved on, I went with it. I also thought age seventeen was a very good year, one in which I would be content to spend the rest of my life. I had a steady girlfriend at that time, which probably explains why I enjoyed the year so much. Age twenty-two was great for me. I loved it, and wanted it to remain forever -- or for me to forever remain within it. It did not, and the era of the perfect ages ended for me. There has not been another year since then in which I wished to remain forever.

Was this simply youthful exuberance, or some innate instinct or knowlege -- something more complex?

Are you still with me, or have you drifted away to your own Neverland? I will be back another day to continue this ....

The beauty & the power of some words

"Entreat me not to leave thee,
or to return from following
after thee:
for whither thou goest,
I will go;
and where thou lodgest,
I will lodge:
thy people shall be my people,
and thy God my God:
Where thou diest, will I die,
and there will I be buried:
the Lord do so to me,
and more also,
if aught but death
part thee and me."

The Bible
The Old Testament
Ruth 1:16


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Piper .. said...

hmm.. This post surprises me a wee bit because it disperses a certain image I had built of you in my mind. Of late, I find your musings more and more in a sepia tone. Like old photographs of yesteryears. Ramblings about the past that now seems wrinkled over time and yet every word of yours comes out fresh and clean. I, for one, enjoy reading these tales from long ago lifetimes. It makes me happy :)

Anonymous said...

You write very well Fram.It is like you are sitting here with me.Telling.And I love to listen to your stories.I understand what you are talking about.You have come to the part of reflections of your life.How many sideways in life did you make?And now..still at the crossway?..You explain yourself with a beauty only a man that has experienced life..and still are experimenting..And you have the insight to question your ways of it.I am looking forward to next chapther. Anita.

Something special ....