Wednesday, March 27, 2013

All the time in the world

It is the thought that counts, right? Especially with photographs. I always feel compelled to say that my photos are generally not meant to be a demonstration of skill and ability, but simply an illustration to accompany what I am writing about in a post. I assume the photo here is recognizable enough for most viewers to identify the object and its location. Difficult as it is for me to believe so much time has passed, it will have been nine years in June since my eyes saw this sight from the Seine and my camera captured it. Now that the time for winter hibernation is approaching its end, my thoughts have been focusing on living and traveling and experiencing places alone vs. living and traveling and experiencing places with a companion.

Care to discuss it?

Here we are ....

With all the time in the world ....

I have mentioned these things before, but they are on my mind again.

Until the past few years, I never have lived by myself.

In college, I had roommates. In the Marine Corps, I had fellow-Marines next to me in the barracks and in the field. I have been married twice and have three children. Even when not married, through the years I never have lived by myself for more than a few months until recent times.

In many respects, I like living by myself. When you live alone, no one is there to complain, to argue, to tell you what is wrong with you or to complicate your life in innumerable ways.

Conversely, the primary problems about being alone, I think, are two: One is the lack of opportunity for discussions with another close to you who you (sort of) trust. The second is the obvious fact that for most of us, I believe, it is more enjoyable to go to a film, to a concert, to an antique shop, to a restaurant, to a beach, to a (well, you get my drift) .... with another, with a companion, with someone you like and enjoy and feel happy to be with and simply want to be with .... than it is to go alone.

The discussion part usually is the difficult part. Discussions often turn to arguments and arguments sometimes turn to fights. But, neither do you wish to have a discussion with someone who thinks exactly the same as you do .... so, how do you find a intellectual wanderer to share a bed with who is capable of discussing without arguing? Hmmmm .... tell me?

I do know a few couples who maintain separate residences, but otherwise are companions for films, concerts, shopping, restaurants and vacations. That is one way to get along, I suppose. But, in my mind, these relationships are based on convenience and affection -- not on love. Which renews a question which drifts by in the ethereal world now and then: Is love real? Or, is it an ideal -- the summit of a mountain which men and women dare to climb, but, somehow, never truly reach?

I suppose the last line of this, for me, goes something like this: The discussion is the important element. The film, the antique shop, the view during the trip to the Grand Canyon or to the Eiffel Tower are the more trivial elements of life and are less relevant -- maybe, even without real purpose -- unless they can be shared emotionally and through conversation with a companion.

Care to discuss it .... while we still have all the time in the world?


ANITA said...

Whatever you do it good.
Best wishes.Anita

Fram Actual said...

Thank you, Anita.

Only time will reveal if Lady Luck is my companion and if Freyja is my guide.

ANITA said...

Freya always at your side.Even when you not know it.Tha.x flr responding.Hope u have a nice Easter:-)

Fram Actual said...

Yes, I think Freyja keeps me on a leash so I do not wander too far astray.

Happy Easter, to you and to your son, Anita.

Peggy said...

Fram, you are singing my song exactly when you say " so, how do you find a intellectual wanderer to share a bed with who is capable of discussing without arguing?"... If you figure that out please let me know.

I have been a bit of a winter somnambulist - no blogging, no travelling, just work and playing (training) my wee puppy... in truth I have been in a bit of a funk - but with the spring thaw my mind is increasingly reflecting on solo travel memories and the desire to find someone to share my days with - both in and out of Canada.

With a bit of luck I will find someone who has a bit of gypsy in him or else I guess I will just sigh, take a deep breath, and head out again on my own when the time comes.

In the meantime I have planned a wee trip to Peru in May - not quite solo - it will be a "G-Adventure" tour, so I will be with other like minded souls, singles and non singles alike - but that is not the same as being able to come home and spend long evenings in remembrances of travels taken with a sweetie.

For sure the best outcome in life is what both you and I aspire to find - a likeminded person who brightens up the day and effortlessly (or maybe with a great deal of effort - no matter) holds our love and affection as well as interest for long days together in deep discussion as well as passion - and no arguments! LOL - I for one wouldn't complain about an occassional argument as long as the rest was there and the making up did exactly that!

As I said, if you figure out how one attracts such a soul, please let me know.

In the meantime I guess I have to settle for my puppy Abby, but the conversations are decidedly one sided!

I am about to come out my reclusive winter and am thinking about dusting off my web site and reconnecting with my blogsphere friends. Glad that when I came to visit you were soliciting comments on a topic which is top of mind for me these days. You can count on my visiting more often!

Happy Easter,

Wind said...

Well, it is hard to say if in a lifetime we are lucky to find a soul mate. To have all qualities. To reborn everyday as a new person we need. To be able to travel through life, shoulder by shoulder to see and understand things in the same way like we do....Not to fight, not to argue....
To be like in a romantic movie.

Happy Easter, Fram!

Fram Actual said...

I would imagine it has been quite difficult to return to a routine sort of lifestyle for you at the conclusion of a tremendous trip such as the one you embarked upon, Peggy. I do not envy you all the walking, but I am jealous of the sights you saw and the experiences you enjoyed.

As for finding the perfect companion in life, perhaps you even encountered such a person on your trek, but strangers who pass by each other seldom have an opportunity to get to know each other in a meaningful way. I think so much of life simply revolves around luck -- good and bad -- and being in the right place at the right time or in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In the meanwhile, we have our own life-journeys to relish as Winter leaves us and goes its own way, and we travel into Spring and onto Summer.

Fram Actual said...

I think a major part of the answer might lie in the concept of "friends as well as lovers." And, I also think relationships have a better chance to blossom and to flower when people have similar interests and generally enjoy doing the same types of things. Beyond that, there always is a need for two people to care enough -- each about the other -- to try to make the other happy. In a sentence, Daliana, I think happiness often is found by making others happy -- especially the one we love.

Yes, Happy Easter to you, as well, Daliana .... the first of two for you.

Something special ....