Friday, July 8, 2011

To marry or not to marry

All right. This is it. Home for the next few months. Three bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen, dining room, living room, full basement and double garage. It is a very typical Minnesota, suburban, ranch-style house built in the early 1970s when common sense still dictated the American housing market. Not the biggest, not the fanciest, but as the old saying goes: At least it is bought and paid for. Now, all that remains to be discovered is how long I can last before I am again off on my wandering ways. So far, so good.

July is the month of anniversaries

Among the things I am good at are remembering dates: Birthdays, anniversaries, historical events of major significance, to name some of the most common. I always have been a detail person, which is why I was a pretty good reporter and policy analyst.

So, it is no surprise to me that I have been thinking about tomorrow's date for the past few weeks. Tomorrow, July 9, is the anniversary of the finalization of my second divorce. The next day, July 10, is the anniversary of the wedding for that same marriage. How many people do you know who were married an exact, precise number of years before their divorce? Not so many years, so many months, so many weeks .... but, only so many years -- period. Only me, I would wager.

To make things even stranger (??), the weddings and the finalizations of the divorces for both of my marriages have been in July. Do you understand why I might be a bit superstitious?

Long before I married for the first time, I got the notion in my mind that I was destined to have three wives (not at the same time, mind you), and that the first two marriages would end in divorce. My assumption was that I would die while married to wife No. 3 and leave her a widow. It could be that the events in my marital existence are sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who can say? I would not argue very strenuously against that being a possibility.

Since my second divorce, I have been contemplating whether or not I should insist on a July wedding with Mrs. Fram No. 3. If so, my next assumption is that I would then die sometime during the month of July, with only the exact date left to be determined.  Sort of predestination. Yes, I am being slightly silly, but I enjoy thinking about obscure odds and random chances at times.

Anyway, as a final thought, this means, I guess, today being July 8, anyone who wishes to marry me only has twenty-four days to "win me over" before July 2011 has passed into the history books. Otherwise, the potential bride will have to wait until July 2012 for her next opportunity.

Maybe, it is time for me to return to school and learn something practical to occupy that portion of my brain now occupied by fanciful speculation -- either that, or to start thinking about places for a honeymoon. Teasing .... I am just teasing .... sort of ....


Kaya said...

Fram, this is a nice house. And it looks big. It's a little bit old (1970) but sometimes these houses might be more substantial than these quick built modern houses.

The place is beautiful. A lot of trees ( there is so great) and a lot of shade. Nice, very nice house.

I think if somebody will decide to "win" you over it will not be an easy task. But I really believe that someday you will meet a very nice girl.

And Diana Ross is fantastic. I like the song very much!!!!!

To be or not to be?.... Marry or not marry?.... Definitely to be!!! And no answer on the second question....

Interesting monologue. And well written.


Fram Actual said...

Well, I was beginning to think no one had the courage to write a comment for this post. Thank you, for your comment and your courage, Kaya.

I only have lived in one new house, and that went away when my second marriage went away. In fact, I built much of that one myself, hiring professionals to do the electrical and plumbing work. I have a close friend, who is a professional photographer, by the way, who even did the electrical and plumbing himself when he built his house. It really is not difficult work in a technical sense and, actually, rather stress-free if one is not pressed by time constraints. It was sort of like being on a vacation, I thought.

Actually, the best wood generally is to be found in houses built in the 1920s and 1930s. An ideal plan would be to buy one of them, dismantle it and use the wood in a new construction, while utilizing the benefits of contemporary electrical, plumbing and communication materials.

The purpose of this house, incidentally, is to serve as a storage unit with a bedroom and kitchen so the occupant also can store himself when need be. The master bedroom is filled to the brim with boxes and odds and ends which might never be unpacked.

Finding someone to marry is not a difficult task; finding someone compatible in a working sense is not always possible. Do not ask what I mean by that; it would require a lengthy post to explain. Anyway, we shall see.

Wind said...

ha ha...'no one had the courage to write a comment' is true!!
Marriage is a difficult subject, compatibility is even harder to describe and explain!

Better to hope that someone (you need and you dream about ) exist somewhere than to merry....ha ha...
even you have to wait for your next life to fulfill this dream.

Loneliness is not the right way, eather!
I don't know!
I will think about!

My best from Romania!

Fram Actual said...

Well, she who roams with the wind has crossed the sea for a visit and has the courage to offer her thoughts, it would appear. Greetings, Wind.

I sometimes wonder if there is such a thing as "perfect" or "excellent" or "real" compatibility. Somewhere along the line of compatibility, I think it might run thin and the gaps must be filled in with elements such as faith, trust, hope, consideration and acceptance of the notion that the "other" in your life is a treasure and you are fortunate to have someone who actually, really, honestly does care for you and value you presence.

How was that for a speech?

If by my next life, you mean it in a literal sense (and, I do think I have been and gone from here more than this one time), I am too impatient to wait. If you mean it as my next life, my next "incarnation" here during this lifetime, I think I am overdue to find a third "career" and someone to travel that road alongside of me.

Home, I think, is a person, not a place. Which, is why I never really settle down.

Anita said...

ehhh..exuse me but do you need a housekeeper????hehehehe..LOVELY house!! like it!!

Fram Actual said...

Thank you, Anita. Yes, it is a nice house and it suits my needs for the present.

A housekeeper? I had not thought about it. You know, those who have "graduated" from the Marine Corps have a reputation for maintaining neat, tidy, clean quarters, but I suppose it would be a good idea to have such responsibilities shared with another.

It probably would be a temporary job, though. I am the restless sort.

Something special ....