Saturday, March 5, 2011

Time on my wrists, mirrors & tears

Now, you have the opportunity to see my birthday present to myself, modeled on the left arm by none other than the world-renowned White Bear. My gift to me is a Rolex Submariner. The name and the style seemed appropriate for some reason. White Bear might well wear it most of the time. We selected one with a blue dial and bezel. Blue is our color .... like the sky and the sea and our dreams and the shade of all our tomorrows. Incidentally, for his birthday, White Bear selected a watch specifically meant for deep-water diving and is wearing it on his right arm. He is ambidextrous, you know.

Look in the mirror, and what do you see?

In a comment on one of my posts a few days ago, Anita wrote this: "Many people steal and want to destroy those old things .... don't know really why .... it must be the enemy within themselves that wants to destroy beautiful things." She was referring to old, sea-going boats in Bergen, Norway, where she lives.

It is not unusual to encounter people who are self-destructive, usually in the form of alcohol or drug abuse. It is not unusual to encounter people who choose to find ways to abuse other people, physically or emotionally, or who actually engage in vandalism to satiate their inner demons.

In this day and age, it is not unusual to encounter people who have some sort of almost inbred sense of entitlement. It might be entitlement for a free education, to live in a house they cannot afford, for free medical care, to be liked and accepted no matter how rude and ill-mannered they might be to others.

My own sense of being is that I have no use for people in any of these categories.

Shifting gears now for a moment, when I returned from Poland last Spring, within about two weeks I had purchased a Chevrolet Suburban. I had sold my previous one back in July 2008, and I missed driving it. During the interim, I had been primarily driving my Audi.

Before actually getting the new Suburban, I had driven a Lincoln Navigator for a day and toyed with the idea of buying it. For those who are unaware, in this neck of the woods a Navigator is considered a luxury vehicle, while a Suburban is more of a working man's vehicle.

When the Navigator salesman gave me the proverbial sales pitch, "What's it gonna take to get you into this baby?” my reply was this: "Sorry, but it is not me. Not interested. Sorry."

With that, I kept on shopping for a Suburban, and I found one a week or so later. Most simply explained, I could not (still cannot) visualize myself driving a Lincoln Navigator. Self-identity is everything; pretentiousness is weakness, and I felt that, for me, driving a Navigator would be pretentious.

Next, I recently bought a Rolex watch. This came about for three reasons. First, I had one when I was in the Marine Corps. It was part of the "image" for those in the particular unit to which I was attached. It was stolen, and I never replaced it. (Someday, I might explain that in more detail, but I am certain few would appreciate or understand the event, so why bother.)

After that, some years later and considerably much more recently, a young lady asked me if the watch I was wearing was a Rolex. I said, no, and almost felt a bit ashamed and embarrassed because it was not. Anyway, the thought of buying another has been lurking in my mind almost daily since then.

And, now, finally, the last reason: It is my birthday in a few days. And, although it is not my custom, I thought that I might as well buy a neat present for myself. The time had arrived, in a sentence, when I could visualize myself wearing a Rolex again and not feel pretentious about doing so. The thought of a Rolex has become the reality of a Rolex.

But, I will add, it is a middle-of-the-road Rolex, one I would describe as a "working man's" Rolex. Not much gold. Mostly steel.

So, then, how are these elements tied together?

I am not certain if the world is becoming a meaner place. It is hard to accept that it could be worse than it has been in the past, but it seems selfishness -- which is a root of ordinary meanness, I think -- is spiking at the moment no matter what corner of the world one cares to point out.

To repeat two things about my self-image which I often have told others in the past and have written about here a few times, as well: What you see is what you get. Sometimes, I might sound a bit pretentious, but I do not believe that I am. Self-confident to the point of arrogance? Sure, but not at the expense of others.

What you give is what you receive with me. I often describe myself as a mirror. Show me anger, you will receive it in return. Give me respect, it will come back to you. Lie to me, your words will not be heard and you will be ignored. Offer me friendship, it will be there for you if you wish it be. Walk away from me .... bye, bye.

The question then becomes, who do you see when you look in a mirror? In relation to you, as others see you. In relation to you, as you see yourself. Who are you?

What I am saying is I believe that I honestly know myself pretty well. I wonder how many other people can say the same of themselves.

Music of the Night, et al

As for the music, make of it what you will. Allow your imagination to transport you within it. Stay up late this night, step out into the darkness of the night and see where it takes you. It puts me on my knees, brings tears to my eyes, and makes me wonder which is greater, music or the night? Mankind or Nature? Or, are they one and the same?

I wish you an endlessly curious mind, one much beyond everyday life, and to wonder what comes next .... here and there .... and to care about it ....


Anita said...

Hello young one...Happy birthday soon coming!!

Beautiful post you have today..and i love eric clapton....

wish you a very good weekend..!

Fram Actual said...

Greetings and salutations, northern one, and thank you, for the birthday wishes and the kind words and the sweet music. The piece by Yo Yo Ma is exquisite.

The weekend is beginning quite well for me, and I hope your days are interesting, relaxing and filled with sunshine.

Anita said...

He he he..thank you Mr..!!

what agreat photo you have got..thats nice and cute..!!:))

Iam soo glad you are happy and sun is in your life again..may it stay forever..:))Well tonight Iam looking at a cowboy movie..

By the way..thanx for nice comment on my blog..not many people likes to see what invisible old ladies do to make a better world..thanx alot..:))

Fram Actual said...

Yes, White Bear is quite the man, but he prefers descriptive words like "handsome" and "dashing" more than words such as "cute" and "nice." I am teasing.

I have seen your film, "3:10 to Yuma," on television. I thought it was fine, but I am not crazy about scenes in which the gun play is so unrealistic that it borders on the comical -- which is the case here. There is a version of this same movie made back in the 1950s that has a very different ending and is consider a classic of sorts.

Invisible old ladies are the same the world over, I assume, and your post was educational and offered excellent photographs, Anita.

Anita said...

about the movie..It was terrible!!Not good at at..well I did get my Settlers movie..and dreamed away for a 4 in the ai..and then i watched Potrait of a marrige..quite a boring movie in the beginning but then It did become very good..

well I did come here to tell you about that beautiful necklace on the bears neck..Is it yours?God some beautiful decorations when you click on the know i always look for the tells sooo much about the person and ect ect..

Okey..we have snow storm again..ahhh..soo boring!!

May you have a good day Fram!

kiyoteekisser said...

Music of the Night

My favorite! Haven't played it lately. Now I'll have it in my head again and finding myself humming it.

Yes, you're right about politics in Montana. It's almost comical if it weren't so tragic.

Fram Actual said...

Well, apparently you thought even less of "3:10 to Yuma" than I did, Anita. As for your "Portrait of a Marriage," I had never heard of it or, after I did a bit of research, of any of the individuals involved in the tale. I do not think they are the sort of people I would enjoy being around.

The "beautiful necklace" worn by White Bear was a gift to me. As you might gather, White Bear has a habit of treating my possessions as his own, which is fine with me.

Spring is slow to make a real appearance here, too, and the snow comes almost daily in small amounts, but with great persistence.

Fram Actual said...

Yes, Sheryl, I agree with you about the music from "Phantom of the Opera." It had been some time since I last heard any of it, so I played some a few nights ago and now I cannot get it off my mind. There are a few marvelous songs in that stage musical, sung by a few great singers.

I was involved in a wolf transplant a few years ago, Minnesota to Michigan. It did not work out well for the wolves.

Thanks, for the visit, Yippee's mama.

Anita said...

hahhaha,,yes,,the sec movie was very strange..I was totally shocked while watching it..hahahhaha..!!

well i dont know anything about your bear..but he looks nice and sure makes you happy..!!thanx for explination of the juwelery

ok..i liked eric clapton the best..but thats my choice..happy night or day or whatever!!:)))))

Fram Actual said...

Well, Anita must either be working tonight or staying up all night hoping that Winter will end sooner if she does not sleep.

You were shocked by that film? I am not so sure about that, but if you say so. The Brits are very strange people, indeed, I think, and I am being polite with my language. None of them are to be trusted, and why do you think that the Irish (who are descended, in many ways, from the Vikings) wish to be rid of them. Why do you think there was a revolution over here in America to be rid of them? I am teasing, but not much.

Yes, White Bear is a genius, and loves pretty things and meaningful caps. He is urging me to buy more jewelry for him to borrow.

Yes, Eric Clapton is a master at his music. This, probably, is my favorite song of his, not so much because of the words, but because of the music -- the sound of it.

Anita said...

Sorry!1I was not expecting respond from you so easy..!!I must say..Iam still laughing about you googling that movie..My god..Yes it did surprise me.Do you wanne know why?well at the library the woman recomanded the movie for me and my son to can imagine my cheek..
went all down to the floor when i realized what we where actually watching!!PORN..!!Lesbian and -homo god..I shall tell that lady they must upgrade their skills..indeed.!!(About english style i really dont know..My mother never liked their customs so i quess it is america that is the real thing for me :)And why all those kings and stuff when soo many people are suffering and dont have food?It is expensive to have kings and queens..but surely it is expensive to have presidents too(They must be watched so they dont get killed agree?)

enough of that silly storie..Yes I was at work and I had this swedish girl from Stocholm with me ..they come all the way from sweden to get a job..Strange i think..i though sweden was like norway..nurses is needed indeed.!

Well i like to be truly with you and I do like the poesi in erick clapton song..Bec i am the jealous type a woman..okey now i have to go to bed..Sweet dreams and all you..)Sory about bad forgive me ok?

Anita said...

yes,,buy more jewelery to white bear..he is cute:)

Fram Actual said...

Well, that was quite a speech, Anita.

In brief, no, I do not believe any form of monarchy is an acceptable method of government, even a figurehead system such as the British system.

Yes, American presidents are expensive to maintain, especially the one in office now.

It is very easy to understand your English. No problem. My only problem is when someone does not understand my English.

More jewelry? Yes, White Bear thinks that is a fine idea.

Anita said...

well??when comes the new gift to White bear?..

Anita said...

ans speech and speech..iam quite mad these know the tax man is killing know i work very much and do a good job..but nope..when you work much you have to pay more taxes..10 000 in the god..yes iam angry!!

and i have stop eating so meal a day..and iam electric..thats why i talk so much..and yes i have a smoke or 2 too..whocares?It is very relaxing.

soory,,your blog friends think iam a frico hahhaha..but I really dont care what people think of me any more..and have it very good in side see..see you

Anita said...

are you min or are you out??????

Is it day time at your place?

Fram Actual said...

I am not certain when White Bear will get his next gift, Anita. Every once and a while we think about it or consider some item, but we are more apt to buy rifles than watches.

Yes, I have heard European countries, and Scandinavian ones in particular, impose a heavy tax burden on the residents. That is the price of socialistic policies.

There is a seven-hour time difference between Bergen and Minnesota. At 0700 for you, it is midnight for me.

I do not spend much time at the computer these days, and when I am here, I usually am working at other projects and am not on the internet. I do not follow any routine or time schedule during my days and nights.

Anita said...

You are lucky!!I think the internet is like a drug sometimes..will I never get rid of it..?.yeah whenI get a man in my home.. we have sun and snowstorm and a blizzard--think I may want to take some photoes today..It is good to feel the fingers on the apperat..It is good to shoot something..may be it is like having a gun in my hands.well it is just this feeling I like..have a good day then,thanx for responding!

Fram Actual said...

My return to my computer is later than usual today. This afternoon was my last visit to the dentist for a few months and, afterwards, I had company for a while -- which is not usual, either.

I looked at your photographic work on your page, Anita, and did not see much sun and no snowstorm or blizzard, but I did see some fabulous work. I especially like photos taken in old cemeteries and on old residential streets. They have stories to tell, and a camera often can capture a bit of them.

Anita said...

Thank you was a blizzard ,7 in the morning..I fell a sleep on the counch and later when i woke up it was weather like in the photoes..Thanx for liking it..The dentist, is good..and company to..wish you the best there is Fram..)

Anita said...

I forgot to tell you I also forgot the charger of the i had to take them with the old scoobiie doop baby camera..

why i do come here once again just to tell that and that..really dont to write with you and that you are happy no matter what you doo...Have a good weekend Fram..rock and roll!!

Fram Actual said...

Thank you, for your good wishes, Anita. And, yes, this is one time of the year when the weather often varies greatly during the course of a day. I woke up to four inches of new-fallen snow, and it was gone -- melted -- in about six hours.

I have done some work with cameras in the range of seventy-five years old. I think such photography is more fun. Look at the work of Ansel Adams, for instance, and you will see some true magic. I probably should not say it, but photography is less challenging with each decade that passes. But, the same is true regarding progress in many areas.

Your words, "you are happy no matter what you do," started me thinking. I guess I am, happy, that is, under most circumstances. Sometimes, people do not think that I am happy because I also generally am a very serious person. Never judge a person by the expression on his face.

Something special ....