Saturday, June 26, 2010

Pleasing memories & a drink to worship

Pick your poison, as we used to say once upon a time in the wild, wild, old West. Scotch, a couple of bottles of Benedictine and a couple of cognac, Southern Comfort, brandy, Kahlua, Amber Cream and a few varieties of wine are available in this batch. There probably are a few more types of whiskey and wine around here, too, on the chance that you care to wait while I look around. In the meanwhile, if you are curious about the meaning of this photograph, read on.

A very pleasing memory

A few days ago, I referenced my blog description of my concept of how an individual meets the "perfect" companion: "I learned romance might exist, but depends upon whether a man and a woman can tread the maze (of living life) individually and reach its center at the same instant in time."

A comment emerged from a reader which brought me back to that thought, and it is one I have had not only in terms of the beneficial intersection of a man and a woman, but in terms of time and place for matters ranging from the trivial to affairs of life and death.

For instance, a trivial event: I am walking down the street with a friend. He looks down and sees a twenty-dollar bill blowing in the wind along the sidewalk. Lucky him for passing this way and looking down at that exact moment. Why him and not me? I could use an extra twenty just as much as he can.

For instance, a life and death issue: I am walking on line with a squad of Marines and a sniper's bullet stops the man next to me literally dead in his tracks. Again, why him and not me? It is an ever-present question in combat that has no answer except among the type who possess a large enough ego to believe god has spared them for some specific purpose.

Being at the right place at the right time or the wrong place at the wrong time is the centerpiece of our lives, I think, and not one of us has a single bit of control over it. It is fate. It is destiny. It is life and there is nothing to be done about it.

The comment from the reader was something like this: "Or..when you actually find someone you really love..that person is not ready..Strange? I don’t know.."

While I was in Poland with my mind focused entirely on one woman, two other women displayed more than a passing interest in me. Both were very attractive. Both were well educated and, in fact, although they were Polish, spoke the English language with greater grammatical skill than I do. Both were financially secure and well-traveled. One of them went so far as to invite me (more than once) to go on a holiday with her for a week. I declined.

This episode, of course, is related to what I mentioned two days ago in the post titled, "A theory, a poem, an opera." My comment was this:
"I have been wondering lately how many women have shown an interest in me and I walked away from them without giving them much (if any) consideration as a potential companion in life ."

I am not sorry I stopped short of becoming better acquainted with either or both of these two Polish young ladies because I was completely involved with another young lady at the time, but the simple fact that it happened causes me to return to the words of Robert Frost still one more time: "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both." Was it fate or destiny? What caused me to choose the road that I did?

Some people would tell me my "inner being" would have known if either of these two women were right for me, and since it did not, my decision not to pursue either or both of them was the correct decision. As for my own thoughts about the matter, right now I am more inclined to think my inner being is a fool.

Oh, well .... at the very least, these two encounters provide me with a very pleasing memory. Each and every one of us appreciates being wanted by another.

Deo Optimo Maximo

Since returning to America in April, I have developed a taste for the liqueur known as Benedictine.

This is a description of it pasted together from three sources: "Made with a cognac base, Benedictine was born during the Renaissance when a Venetian monk at the Abbey of Fécamp, Dom Bernardo Vincelli, created an elixir from twenty-seven herbs, roots, spices and sugar. Originally used to revive tired Benedictine monks beginning in 1510, the term D.O.M. on the label stands for Deo Optimo Maximo, which translates into 'to God, most good, most great.' One of the best ways to taste the distinct flavors of Benedictine is in a B&B, in which the liqueur is mixed with brandy."

My "usual" drink is brandy, with an occasional cognac. Perhaps, that is the genesis of my new-found taste for Benedictine. Perhaps, I was an Italian monk or a French grape grower in a previous life.

Now, that I really do doubt.

I am not extravagant when it comes to liquor (come to think of it, I am not extravagant when it comes to anything), so the idea that I actually buy and drink Benedictine is somewhat of a shock to my psyche. I literally can buy four bottles of the brandy I drink for the cost of a single bottle of Benedictine.

I wonder what is happening to me.

Windy Nights
by Robert Louis Stevenson

Whenever the moon and stars are set,
Whenever the wind is high,
All night long in the dark and wet,
A man goes riding by.
Late in the night when the fires are out,
Why does he gallop and gallop about?
Whenever the trees are crying aloud,
And ships are tossed at sea,
By, on the highway, low and loud,
By at the gallop goes he.
By at the gallop he goes, and then
By he comes back at the gallop again.


Anonymous said...

hahahhahaha!!!dont be angy now Fram..but are you really so attractive??????? must be the king of the road!!!love it!!

what happened !!tell us more more more!!!

dont say the last chapter is written?very good it is.!!!

about the liquer.not alcholic atre you?lost og good stuff in your bar.i like the Bedectine fact my mother said it was medicien.but then she was quite a witch.Now,dear MR.Fram.whats next? doing very well with writning..kisses and happy may comment on my wall.i am still home.Again.Dont be angry with me.I like to tease. old are you fram?that one you dont have to answer..Kisses from your funny valentine:)

Fram Actual said...

That was the end of that story, Anita, although I did not throw away their telephone numbers and email addresses. I still could use them now.

And, to be honest, my heart still lingers in Warsaw. Time will answer that question, too.

I also like to tease, so do not worry about it. Just remember, those who give it must also be willing to take it.

What you said before, about winter. I whine and cry and complain about it, but I am not certain I could live without it.

As for your other questions, I might write a post answering all. I am a very private person, but sometimes I think I have made too much of a game or a mystery here on the blogs and should put all my cards on the table.

I would do the past year over if I could so there would be no confusion. Although, I might add, if someone does not read what I do write, they have no one to blame but themselves for misunderstandings. Please, you remember that, too.

Goodnight, from Minnesota ....

Anonymous said...

"I also like to tease, so do not worry about it. Just remember, those who give it must also be willing to take it."""..I know that!!!but Iam willing to take that very boring to just be has to live too..and one have to experience bad things to understand good things agree?

you must NOT think Iam am flirting with you.Or anything else in that wayBecause Iam not.I prefer dark haired man.Grown up men.and you have the taste of young blondes one..agree?but as friends i think we would mach perfectly good with the same kind of humor and interest.

I didnt undeerstand what i should remebere?What remeber?Fram?

And to your dear heart Fram.Dont forget to have a good time while you are waiting for Her,,because there is much fine people in the world to play with on your way..

And now i must continue with my black coffe,,only have 5 more nightshifs to go..BAHHHH..i hate to wotrk at night..but it is very good money on it,thanx lord.

Fram Actual said...

Yes, I agree, Anita. Life is a combination of good and bad experiences, and we would never learn if we did not encounter both.

You are not flirting with me? How disappointing. Flirting is one of my favorite things to do, especially with beautiful young ladies -- blondes and brunettes. I am sort of teasing, but flirting can be a problem. There have been times someone has not been able to tell the difference between when I am simply being friendly and flirting, and when I am being earnest and serious. The easiest way to understand one another is to be honest with each other about thoughts and feelings, and to ask questions when it doubt.

All I meant when I wrote that you should "remember that, too," is for you to understand that all there is to know about me is in what I write about myself. Some people have come to my page and left a comment, but did not bother to read what I had written. And then, later, acted surprised and/or disappointed to "discover" some characteristic or fact about me when it had been there all the time to know and to understand. Anyway, do not worry about it.

Ah, yes, night shifts. I prefer sunsets to sunrises, but I know what you mean.

Anonymous said...

You amuse me with you comments dear;)Fram!!!
as you said before peope only shuffle the pages..they are more content to sit behind their own walls and do you and me 2..Fram..

So you like the flirting thing do you?to me all fishes do so.Or all men.and thats fine to.It is salt and pepper in the boring ordinary day i think!!!!!

So.why do you pack and repack?why cant you just sell everything and go to Warschava?immediatly?.Iwould do so if my love was waiting for me..i could never stand to be away from him..VIVE LA AMOR!!!!

Fram Actual said...

Always happy to amuse, Anita.

Packing and re-packing is both a literal and a figurative activity. I have property, meaning land, in South Dakota and in Michigan that I am trying to sell. I had a house here in Minnesota, which I agreed to sell in mid-March and decided to come back to handle personally. It was full of furniture and personal possessions, most of which I decided was impractical to keep and needed to dispose of myself.

I bought the Suburban when I came back, and that took shopping time. I am in the process of selling the Audi.

I have (had) considerable personal property. As I described it once, I am sorting it into three piles -- keep, sell and give away. I did not have time to pack appropriately before I left the house. I had to be out of there by the end of May, so I more-or-less simply tossed things into boxes and hauled them to the townhouse I leased after my return. Finding a place to rent that would give me a short-term lease was also time consuming.

Now, here in the townhouse, I sort through everything -- years of photographs, mementoes, monetary records, you name it -- and re-pack decently what I plan to keep. When I leave, most of what I own will be in a single, rental, storage unit. Get the picture?

I just looked out of the window. Yesterday evening, we had a severe thunderstorm come through. It had high winds, hail (some of which was as large as a golf ball) and torrential rain. It appears the same event is about to occur this evening.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

DearFram.I would not leave.America.Never.You have a terrible time!!!!Time of your life!!!All the memories.

Oh no,why did YOu sell all that beautiful land.Are you so fed up with it?or do you have t0?.You do it justfor the love?It cant be true.

See now you have got me tears in my eyes.

Anonymous said...

Hi Taiwan!!Beauiful blog!!why not write in engliiiiissshhhhhh?

Fram Actual said...

Anita ....

My desire to literally flee America comes from frustration with the political and social changes that have been occurring the past decade or two. I am tired and bored with the rising movements here which wish to control every breath a person takes. America is increasingly becoming a fascist state, and it is coming from the left, as it did in Europe during the first quarter of the 20th Century.

Enough complaining about that, but my choices, I think, are two: Either live in another country or move into a more wilderness-like region in this country without a television.

The land in the recent photographs on my page is not the place I just sold. The photographs are from the home in South Dakota that was sold about a decade ago, at the time my wife and I divorced. I still own some land there, which is among property that I might sell now, but the South Dakota house on the hill was sold back then.

The house I sold now was a typical, suburban home in Minnesota with only a typical, suburban yard.

Anonymous said...

The grass is not greener on the other side.

I have tried to live without television these weeks..(mostly because the house is new and takes time to get Canal Digital.I didnt miss television.i think it is strange to pay companies money and look at the programs they want us to see..indoktrinering!!!!(i dont know what the word is in english)but now i only watch different news channels.And some old movies.Is there wild woods in amercica still?I think america is beautiful.

Fram Actual said...

There are many wild places left in America, Anita, but all of them are owned by someone. Most by individuals or corporations, much by the federal, state or local units of government.

A person could lose himself in the wild country if he chose to live like a 19th Century mountain man.

In response in your question in the other post, when I decided to leave newspaper work, I taught journalism for a year at a university. After that, I became a state department of corrections policy and management analyst. Later, I became manager of a housing unit (a building housing about 200 inmates) inside a prison, and still later became manager of an outside "trusty unit" with about 200 inmates. Fascinating work.

Anonymous said...

ok..thanx for sharing and commenting on my blog.

Fram Actual said...

Sure, happy to do it, Anita.

By the way, as for my "double entry" on your page, I left a comment by your photographs, then spoke on the telephone for a while, and when I came back did not see my comment, so I re-entered it, not realizing I had opened up the comment section on another of your photos. That sounded confusing. Anyway, that is why I made the same comment twice -- I lost track of where I was after being interrupted by the telephone.

Something special ....