Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dance resumes, chameleons unite & rock on

There were many emails, telephone calls, letters and smoke signals sent informing me how greatly the photograph of the dancers was appreciated. This was, of course, the photo showing Fram the First, Fram Actual and cousin Raisuli performing our infamous "Ghost Riders in the Sky" dance. An encore performance was requested by the management of the Doll Hut, and we had no recourse but to please our friends and our fans. So, shown here today, is a photo of our encore appearance. What? Oh. Yes. Right. There are four of us in this photo. That is cousin Andrii, son of Tarus, at the far end. He heard about all the adorable young ladies who call the Doll Hut their second home, and insisted on coming along. He is a bit of a show off, with a weakness for Polish princesses. I am sorry to have to admit there are a few among the Fram clan who are incapable of restraining their egos and unable to demonstrate a constant state of modesty.

The doorway to chameleon-land opens ....

Without yet having read the book, "Queer Theories" by Donald E. Hall, suggested by Rachael a couple of days ago in response to my commentaries about self-perception and the perception others might have of us, I feel like I am standing before a partially open doorway I knew might exist but never before actually noticed.

Simply from reading some of Rachael's interpretations of Hall's book and offering insights into her own rather unique life, I am amazed at the extent of the "chameleon" lives lived by some and the extent of the "queer" element as it enters into behavior patterns and habits.

Written by Rachael: "I have been many people in my years, living a variety of experiences that through choice or circumstance, has dictated how people perceive me. My differing selves reflect differing desires and goals that I have pursued. A certain awareness of these 'selves' has become apparent to me only recently."

Sound familiar? I think I said much the same only a few days ago here on this page, unaware that Rachael was engaged in the same self-examination.

More from Rachael: "Acknowledging our differing selves is not a 'multiple personality' disorder, rather the order by which we live our lives. It is being a chameleon, allowing a certain fluidity to govern our movement through time and circumstance. To accept this fluidity is to allow it to forever change our perception of our life, and from there, our world."

My own appearances as a chameleon have only been in an occupational or vocational sense, as best I am aware. Others, according to Hall's theories, might involve any number of activities or traits.

Rachael, in describing her own actions, went even a step further than I did in explaining her own abilities to walk two or more paths, whereas the "crowd" walks along the road as though it were a one-way street with no curves or crossroads. Like her, I know I have walked two distinctly separate paths more-or-less simultaneously, but did not mention that element in what I wrote in my earlier posts. Possibly, I omitted it because my post was getting to be pretty long; possibly, I left it out because I did not have the courage to mention it.

I am anticipating learning more when I read Hall's book and from Rachael, if she chooses to write more. I am particularly curious about motivations behind people becoming chameleons here and there along the way during their lifetimes. My own motivations have not involved deception (except, possibly, self-deception). Neither did my purpose involve any hope to gain money, friendship nor special status, which seems to me the most common reasons some might employ it. My motivation always has been to gain experience and to learn and, once having become an insider to a particular world, to excel, simply because I always have been competitive. Beyond that is the ultimate reason, the search to discover self-meaning and a true home.

I think this book by Donald Hall might be a good place for a few others who cannot seem to find a permanent niche in life to open and to read. Nothing to lose; maybe a little self-understanding to gain.

One out of 10 ain’t bad. Or is it?

It should be evident that the past three months have been a period (sort) of girl hunting and (very much) of introspection for me. In that sense, for the fun of it, I decided to come up with a list of 10 things I wish I would have done differently during the past 20 or 25 years. This is not a "big deal" list, such as marrying Jane instead of Judy, but rather an odds and ends list of a few things I wish I would not have missed out on.

As some might guess, heading this list is wishing I had attended more rock concerts. I saw enough professional football, baseball and hockey games to handle my requirements, although a few more would be nice. (Notice, no professional basketball games.) I have seen any number of stage performances, both those professionally done and amateur college or community productions. But, I've never been to an opera or a ballet, and have those on my next 20- to 25-year list. Mostly, however, I am thinking rock concerts. I have seen a number of the big-name and the best bands to come down the pike, but I wish it would have been at least twice as many.

Next on the list .... You know, right now, off the top of my head, I cannot think of anything else I missed out on that bothers me all that much. I guess that means I get nine free passes for something, or maybe just add items to this list later.

Music Note: Listening to Thin Lizzy ....
Specifically, "Wild One: The Very Best of Thin Lizzy" ....
Some lines from: "The Boys Are Back in Town:"

That jukebox in the corner blasting out my "favorite song"
The nights are getting warmer, it won't be long
Won't be long till summer comes
Now that the boys are here again

The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
Spread the word around
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back, the boys are back

The boys are back in town again
Been hangin' down at Dino's
The boys are back in town again


TheChicGeek said...

Hi Fram... I'm thinking and I'll be back :D

Chocobo said...

It's strange to see how themes develop and ideas infect and spread like viruses among people who hear and read and think.

I think I need to find a copy of this book. (Did I hear you cough my name in that last paragraph of The doorway to chameleon-land opens . . .?) It sounds right up my alley anyway.

I used to think that it was dishonest to be many people at once, or to walk 2 paths simultaneously, but I realized that I can't help it. I do it for many reasons: to make people around me more comfortable with who they are, to make them more uncomfortable, to spur them to learn, but most importantly to allow myself to learn. I always was fascinated by Nellie Bly and double agents. The idea that you really can't know what is going on in a group unless you are a part of it.

Mostly I just got tired of trying to shove myself into molds that I didn't fit into. I'm much more comfortable defying labels.

Rachael Cassidy said...

Fram....My new friend!! I agree with Chocobo when he speaks of themes spreading among those who read and think. I really just stumbled upon your blog, and was astounded when your words reflected what I had been feeling/thinking/reading/writing. Some things are just "meant to be..."... :)

Fram said...

Hi there, Kelly .... Take your time.

Fram said...

Some people need a mirror to see themselves. Others require a nudge.

Welcome to the club, Angie.

On my way out and about again. I will read your post a bit later. Thanks for reading mine.

Fram said...

Yes, Rachael .... Glad to see you here. I will be over to your site a bit later, too, to compare notes.

TheChicGeek said...

Hello Fram :0
Very thought provoking post. I must say that I find the word "chameleon" troubling. A chameleon is a small lizard whose skin changes color to fit its surroundings. To me, this term seems a little negative. It sort of implies changing to "fit in" rather than to understand one's true self. The chameleon will change color so as not to be seen. This would imply, to me, hiding. When hiding from one's self, not being authentic and standing up and saying this is who I am, Bright Purple, I stick out, but I am me, and I'm okay, we are not able to experience true love and self-acceptance.

I believe I've stated this before, but I see myself as more of a "diamond" with many "facets." A facet of a diamond implies a small plane surface of a cut gem. All together these aspects define the whole of the gem. You, yourself are a diamond, not a chameleon.

It has taken me many years of self exploration to come to this place. For me the journey has been one of understanding the many aspects of my personality, to hone or sand down, to sharpen and smooth out who I am and what I believe, if you will, and to remove the parts that are negative or cause problems for me in my life.

Deep down, I am a whole...the essence of who I am does not change. I am multi-faceted and that is what makes me bright and shiny :)

I believe we all are diamonds, just some more finely refined and faceted. Even in the state of an unhoned lump we are still beautiful and created specially in God's eyes.

Having empathy and loving compassion, respect for differencs in others around me, I can remain true to myself and be multi-faceted.

When we can treasure ourselves as diamonds, we are then capable of shining our light out to the world and it will be reflected back upon us. This is what I believe.

Rachael Cassidy said...

ChicGeek... In my article, I end it with that same comparison; my life's many glittering facets... to go from mere chameleon to a diamond, polished and pure...
Fram... Can't wait for you to read my most current. You will see yet another part of who I am. :)

Fram said...

Kelly ....

I think you should consider posting the words you wrote here on your own blog. They are inspiring, and I know they would have a very positive effect on any number of your readers, just as other of your recent posts have had a deep impact. When you "let your hair down," you really are something.

I will be writing more on this subject in a day or two or three, and will wait until then before I try to expand on my own thoughts.

I am very glad you wrote this.

Fram said...

Rachael ....

Be there to read in a few minutes ....

Rachael Cassidy said...

Fram.. Thanks for visiting my blog... I am over the pain of what happened with my son's cancer ordeal. That, I believe, is part of the choice I made to overcome the situation and grow from it, rather than drowning in the sorrow and letting it control me. He was 17 months old when diagnosed; his was a very aggressive form of bone cancer, but thankfully it was confined to his right femur. He was three years old before it was all finished, and today all we do is go to Shriner's hospital for new prosthetics and get a thorough check up every six months. He is a very lucky boy; in fact, his oncologist told me early on, "Don't allow him to gamble when he is older- he has used up all his luck."

Fram said...

Hi there, Rachael ....

Reading your entries really did shake me up. There are some things I do not handle well, and medical problems involving children probably are on the top of the list.

Anyway, I am glad things are working out for you and your boys in the long run and I am looking forward to reading more of your writing.

Something special ....