Sunday, March 15, 2009

Wait! I'm not ready yet! I'm still thinking!

Real friends? Why not?

Let me put it this way. I have had friends, girlfriends, drinking buddies, best friends, Marine Corps buddies, casual friends and any other manner of friends describable.

It makes no difference what bar a guy walks into, or what job he takes, or what organization he belongs to, or what girl he meets, the chance of developing lasting friendships is sort of rare. Golf buddies? (Bad example, since I do not golf and shoot me if I ever want to.) Friends to go to Minnesota Twins or Vikings games together with? Easy to find, but usually pretty shallow types for anything beyond rah, rah. (Maybe it is different between women.)

I have casual friends coming out of my ears; no current girlfriends (do not want one in that simple sense) and I am beyond the bar buddy stage for more than two or three drinks after work. (He says as he stands and shouts, "Valhalla!" and is pushed back into the corner of the booth by his bar buddies.)

Among my best friends "ever," two out of three are dead, one cancer and one suicide. The cancer victim was a woman about 20 years older than me, not beautiful, but wise and intelligent beyond belief. (That means smarter than me.) The suicide was a man six months older than me. (My boss, but I was his crutch. He had the charm; I had the backbone.) That leaves me with a photographer, and you know how they are, sort of weird. Besides, he lives a bit from here.

Among Marine Corps friends, only one who was really close who is still alive. He lives a bit from here, too, mostly fishes and has his disability check, which keeps him happy. (I am not certain he even ever has read a book, but he sure can fish, and there is more to explain here than can be simply done.)

What I am saying is that there is magic in more ways than one. (And, you might not ever hear me say it again.) Possibly, the internet actually will be a road to friendships not otherwise achievable in the past. I have seen others write much the same sentiment here, people who are thinking the same thing. I am not saying, do not take care. Never completely trust until the eyes meet (and maybe not even then), but never fear to explore or to dance. Am I wrong here?

By the way, I really am cheating. I wrote this about 20 hours ago, but I am just now putting it on my page because I am not sure if I am finished or if I want to say more. Oh, well, there always is tomorrow ....

One more run at turning left instead of right ....

When I joined the Marine Corps, I already literally had been within minutes of joining the Air Force. Had not a holiday delayed a flight to "haul me away," I would have gone USAF instead of USMC. But, the delay happened and, during the intervening few days, I decided on the Marines. I could do only one. If possible, I would have liked to have had the experience of being an 18-year-old in both services. I would have liked to have done this not to find out if one experience would have been better than the other, but simply to gain knowledge from the experience of having done both. To know.

If it were possible to do both experiences, one almost certainly would have proven to be better or worse than (preferable to) the other, but that is not the object of my thought, and does not even matter at all. The only purpose would be to have had the experiences.

Of course, in reality, unless there is another me in a parallel universe doing exactly the opposite of what I am doing and we are able to meet up and to compare notes, the exercise is one of futility for anything other than stirring the imagination. Stir, mix, bubble, boil, toil and trouble ....

More things & more, more things ....

Have you ever looked down and noticed both your shoe laces were untied? I do not know about you, but that is when I went to cowboy boots pretty much full time.

At least twice a week, I do not want to sleep. It is not insomnia; it is not wanting to sleep. I am so anxious for summer that I want to be awake until it comes. I suppose it would be wiser to stay awake after it comes rather than now.

Someone asked me some time ago why I quit hunting, and I never answered. I do know why. I know when, almost to the minute. I just am not certain how I want to explain it or if I want to explain it. Sooner or later, I suppose it will come.

Someone recently said she was looking forward to watching my Plan A as it evolves. Actually, I think Part 2 might already be written, but I cannot be absolutely certain, so it is premature to publish it. And, Part 3 definitely remains a mystery because the future cannot be known -- or can it?

Did anyone who read yesterday's commentary about Lawrence Durrell notice that "the course of his career changed" when he moved to Corfu, Greece? Hint, hint. Maybe travel Greece, maybe settle (for a while) between there and Valencia. Follow the example of your elders should you wish to .... wish to what? Sure would have liked to have been able to interview Lawrence Durrell and his brethren.

Almost forgot. Beware the Ides of March ....

Music Note: Listening to classic rock on the radio ....
Heard me say that before?
Playing this instant: ZZ Top and "Legs"


troutbirder said...

Interesting blog. Thanks for sharing. As a former teacher who was required to take inane classes for earning a raise, I am sorry I missed your literature class. I surely would have disputed you boat interpretation favoring the notion of a allegorical stock market interpretation. Hardly enough to convert me to predatory, unregulated Republican capitalism. While, of course, preserving that worthy limited portion of regulated greed, we common sense democrats still call the "goose that lays the golden egg." She is our mother.

Fram said...

You have proven my point, troutbirder. Quasi-intellectual liberals cannot differentiate between a farce, sexual innuendo, market fluctuations and serious commentary.

Relax, pull up a chair and have a beer.

troutbirder said...

Perhaps no more than pretentious, arrogant, pseudo-intellectual political Luddites

Fram said...

Whatever you say, troutbirder. I will keep the beer cold should you ever gain a sense of humor.

Did you realize that you are my first troll?

Another learning experience.

Natalie said...

Thank you, Philosopher,
I like my voice too – high-pitch voices give me shivers! Once, someone suggested that I should have applied for (900)-kind-of-jobs!!!
P.S. How’s job situation for journalists now, that so many local newspapers throughout the country are closing?...

This is for your “Friendship”-collection; very nicely translated, which is not always the case. This is from Rasul Gamzatov, a Soviet poet from Dagestan
Long have you lived and, still content
To shelter from life’s storms,
You cannot name a single friend
To whom your lone heart warms.

When years have passed and you are old,
People will turn and say:
«He lived a century, poor soul,
Who never lived a day.»

Fram said...

Hi, Natalie ....

That is a very powerful poem. Over on the right side of my page, somewhere, is Samuel Taylor Coleridge's fragment entitled, "The Three Sorts of Friends." I am inclined to agree with him for the most part, but maybe I would broaden it some.

You are right about newspaper closures and layoffs. Frankly, I think the industry is going, going ....

I would elaborate, but I only have about four hours of sleep in the last 50 and need to get some shut eye. Catch you later.

The Fabulous Diva said...

Hello Fram,

I'm just catching up to your postings and what you have to say has given me a lot of "food for thought".

On friends, you are right it's always best to be able to see their eyes, touch their hands, be physically there. The internet is changing a lot of that, in some ways I think it's a good thing, in others I think it tears down certain "old-fashioned" but solid things and values.

I can count my friends (the ones I can see, hear and touch) on one hand, sadly one has died from cancer as well, but another has shown up to fill that void.

That is what life is like changing, evolving, as we ourselves change and evolve. But sometimes work, a change in location, a change in ideals can cause a shift in friendships. But there are those few who stand with a person through all those changes, and those you cherish for life.

About going back in time and making different choices, I too have been there but I had some perimeters to gage what might have happened, and it would not have been very good for me, it would have left me a very bitter, disatisfied person.

But for others I'm sure there is always that "What if..." question; sometimes my Mother would say "If wishes were horses beggars would ride", I think she would say that to me and baby sis to say 'don't regret your decisions, one does it at the time because it was the one that best suited the situation.'
She may have been right.

About Journalism, through your articles you have done a lot of good, made positive changes that would not have happened if you had not spoken up about it, bring it to people's attention.

I'm always reminded of what a pebble can do sending ripples of water to another shore, there are times it can bring up treasure, but one never knows unless someone tosses that pebble in to create the ripple---we need people like that. We need people like you.

And with the internet journalism is also changing, some people said that with the advent of Television Radio would no longer exist, but Radio is still here, changed yes, but still here.

I think that is what is going to happen to newspapers and journalism. We need people like you to make people "think" and for people to not be like "sheep following the 'judas goat' to the slaughter house".

Forgive me if I haven't expressed myself correctly, but I have to say you have given me a lot of 'food for thought' which I will comment on at greater length on my Web Log.

Oh, by the way, I have a special "date" marked on my calendar, I hope you have a chance to celebrate.

Rest well Fram, and stay healthy.

TheChicGeek said...

Hello Fram :) I rather enjoyed Troutbirder's commentary. Hmmmmm....Common Sense...Maybe he should read a little of Thomas Paine.
You are right about being careful on the internet. We never really know who we're talking to until we meet them face to face.

As far as one choice or the other, who knows...we would be simply having a different life. I find it best to just keep traversing the road and finding new adventures on the path we're on. No time for regrets. If the point is to just have different experiences, you don't need to change the choice you already made because that was the experience. Does that make sense? Yesterday is gone but we have today. Today we make a new choice, go right instead of left. It doesn't really matter what we missed yesterday. It's all part of the fabric of our lives...we either have a rich quilt of experience or a plain old sheet. Ultimately it's up to us to make it what we want it to be.

So make like a bear and get some're going to need your energy for all those new turns your planning on taking :)

Chocobo said...

I have very few long lasting friendships, but I find it very easy to open myself up to others, so I can become very close with near strangers very quickly. The problem comes when I move to another facet of my life and some people get left behind out of necessity or simply inconvenience. I always feel a little bad about the people that I've left behind, but I have learned to trust that they continued moving on their own path so they weren't left behind at all.

There are only 3 people in my life that have paths that are so frequently convergent with mine that though we may part to go through lessons that we need to, we always end up coming back together and sharing more in common rather than less.

Fram said...

Hello, Diva ....

Five hours of sleep later, and after eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast and coffee, I'm ready to .... ready to .... ready to take a nap.

You are right about journalism, I think. I'm mostly considering it in a traditional sense of newspapers arriving at a doorstep or through the mail.

Thanks for all the nice words and compliments. Between them and a sunny, warm day outside (finally), I'm in a good mood.

Fram said...

Hello, Kelly ....

The root of my right turn/left turn thoughts stems back from wanting to do more things and to see more places than time and money allow. I agree with what you said, but I'd be happier if we could run 24 hours a day without sleep in order to do more things and to see more places. An unrepentant daydreamer, I guess. Never enough time.

Thank you, too, for cheering me up.

Fram said...

Hello, Chocobo ....

You and I have what you described in common. I come and go frequently, leaving newly made friends behind. Calls, email, even letters might last a year or two, but then the relationships almost always begin to drift away.

Nice to see you here again. Thanks.

Something special ....